Kal Running

I started this story just as an introduction a while back. Today I finished it .... Thoughts welcome X

Kal had checked her Louis Vuitton luggage in faster than expected considering it was peak hour Monday morning at Cape Town airport. In her already detached state of mind she barely even noticed her bags whisked away on the conveyor belt. The continual buzz of service announcements became an indecipherable almost meditative hum in the back of her mind. She paid no regard to the bored looking guard or the wand he waved passively over her body as she passed through the metal detector, and she had not given any attention at all to the purpose driven businessmen and women zipping their way impatiently through ticket lines and security checks to fly in and out of the country. 

It was only a few weeks ago she herself had been caught up in the same all too consuming and frantically paced business mode. Not anymore though. Right now Kal found herself seated alone, on an overly tall black and chrome stool in the airport bar. Not another customer in sight. 

Perhaps, she thought, seven thirty in the morning was too early for most people to order a glass of the best champagne in the house. It wasn’t too early for Kal, not today. Nor was it too early for the barman to flash a sparkling smile her way and attempt at conversation. He was flirting. Men openly flirting was something Kal had become accustomed to throughout her life. A timeless classic brunette beauty "that’s what she was. Well, that’s what people had told her anyway.

Kal noticed the barman’s playful mood, but like everything else this morning she didn’t give it another thought and instead watched the bubbles rise and pop, rise and pop on the inside of her frosted champagne flute. The bubbles, she thought, were escaping their fluid confines, and once popped, they were no more. Staring blank-faced at the golden liquid inside her glass Kal found herself envying the tiny beads of sweet smelling air surfacing then departing in the quickest of succession. If only she could just disappear. Pop and she'd be gone, just like the bubbles.

She told herself she wasn’t running. No, just leaving South Africa once and for all. The country had served her well the past eight years, but it was never her home. Home, she now realised with a newfound poetic clarity, was and always will be Sydney, Australia. Home is where the story deserves to end.

God, it’s been sixteen years since she left Sydney. She will never forget the teary goodbye at the airport. Liv was a complete mess. She hadn’t wanted her best friend to come with her, Liv insisted though. Kal had always been stronger than Liv, and at the departure gates whilst she didn’t feel the need to cry, she spent the best part of forty minutes wiping away a stream of tears from Liv’s red and blotchy emotionally ill-equipped for that moment face. 

‘Why do you have to leave?’ Liv sobbed. 

‘It’s just time.’ Kal said over and over again. There was a deeper reason Kal was leaving, she didn’t understand it then. Something niggling her from the inside out, a feeling that made her feel alone and in a state of desolation. Kal put it down to needing a sea change.

It worked, Kal got distracted by a new life.

Kal made herself the success she promised herself she would be. Upon arriving in London totally skint, Kal systematically, and I say systematically because that’s the way Kal’s mind works, went about securing any job she could get to find her feet on the ground just so she could figure on her ascent upwards. 

Of course, Kal achieved what she set out to do. She didn’t claim for herself any friends along the way, she was always working around the clock and spending time with people instead of her business was a luxury she never chose to afford. Within the short span of seven years, Kal was sitting atop her own creation. Organic make-up. She openly admits that some of it were luck. some of it was damn hard work but most importantly she’d say, ‘it really was all about timing’. 

And because it was all about timing Kal peered into the future as she tried to ignore that very same niggling feeling she had felt in Sydney all that time ago. 

A larger cosmetics company jumped at the chance to take over Kal’s business. Kal walked away almost ten million heavier and began weighing up the next options.

‘Kal darhling,’ it was Nels, ‘come meet Jannie, he’s been standing in the corner over there staring, almost stalking you the entire evening.’ 

After having sold her business and not having any idea what was next,  Kal jumped on a flight to Amsterdam. Nel’s, her former executive assistant demanded she come over for his boyfriends fortieth birthday party. 

‘I’m not sure I ….’ Kal tried.

‘Oh nonsense girl, look at you. You are at loose ends just now after selling. What you need is a distraction, get some meat between those frigid legs of yours. You’ve worked yourself into a state of complete disengagement from life right in front of you whilst you had that damn business. God only knows how many gorgeous men I have seen you pass up, but not anymore. Now come. He’s waiting and I will not let you leave before you meet him.’

Kal often found it difficult to say no to Nel’s and she knew he would start true to his word and his relentless demands would not cease until she at least appeased him by meeting this guy. 

‘Five minutes, that’s all he gets, then I’m out of here.’ 

‘Five minutes it is darhling,’ he said grabbing Kal’s hand and weaving himself and her through the thick party crowd. Landing right in front of a man Nel’s quickly regarded as Jannie, Kal, for what may have been the first time in her thirty-six-year-old life, felt overwhelmed with what only could be called lustful desire. Her stomach dropped, she was suddenly lost for words and her compulsion to simply reach out and touch this guy overrode every other sense in her body. 

Of course, she didn’t touch him, instead, she pulled herself into check, exhaled slowly and somewhat calmly through her nose and played everything very very cool. 

‘Jannie this is Kal,’ Nel’s said gesturing his hand in an upward turn in my direction. ‘Kal this is Jannie,’ reversing the motion for his hand to point toward Jannie. ‘I have already taken much time in singing your praises Kal, so please don’t mess this up.’ 

With that Nel’s winked in Kal’s direction and made up some excuse about having to go and make cocktails and left them alone.

During her time in business, Kal has had to deal with many men and not once has she had issues with conversation. But for some reason, Jannie had stopped her in her tracks. She felt like a bumbling teenager again not knowing where to look or what to say. Jannie, on the other hand, remained ever so composed and seemed to be enjoying the fact that Kal was clearly squirming. 

If she looked back and tried now, she probably still wouldn’t be able to put her finger on what it was that made her weak at the knees and temporarily mute. Sure he was unmistakably handsome with his wide shoulders, chiselled jaw, coral blue eyes that only seemed to be enhanced further by his tussled blonde hair, but Kal had mixed it with many male models and inextricably handsome men over the years so she was used to male beauty. There was something else though. From the moment she stood not more than two feet away from this man Jannie, she knew in less than an instant they would be together. 

And they were. Starting with that night. After a few open-ended questions were thrown at Kal from Jannie and another two drinks in quick succession, Jannie couldn’t shut Kal up. The reverse was the same, Kal couldn’t shut Jannie up either. It was like they both had so much to say and would jump in on each others conversation wherever possible leaving many thoughts unfinished and new tangents explored. 

They left Nel’s party without so much as a goodbye and headed straight back to Kal’s hotel where they spent the night exploring each other’s bodies and exchanging murmurs of what can only be described as fledgeling love. 

Kal knew even before she jumped into bed with Jannie that the was leaving for South Africa in two days time. She didn’t care though. What she and Jannie were sharing was something bigger than the crossing of oceans. For the first time in her life, she was aroused to life itself and her vessel for that arousal was Jannie. 

As with her life to date, Kal choose to put her major turning points down to the ‘timing of things’ so the timing of Jannie entering stage right when she had no more ties to anything London was not lost on her. Even before having discussed it with Jannie, she planned to move to South Africa to be with him.

Kal arrived in Cape Town two weeks after Jannie had left to fly home. She didn’t feel nervous about moving to a new country and starting a new life with a man she just met. No. That was not Kal. Kal didn’t do nervous. One of her biggest traits in her success was that she never looked back over her shoulder once she had made a decision. Moving forward was the biggest key, moving forward allows one to gain momentum and when the momentum hits, that's when things really start happening.

Jannie was already a great success in Cape Town and not only in business. Kal soon found out that Jannie has always been a great success with the ladies. Before Kal, Jannie was a real, man about town, a ladies man, a schmoozer, a one-night-stander, a sweet talking gets 'em into bed once and then leave. Interestingly this didn’t give Jannie a bad reputation at all. He was always so sweet and kind to women, plus his amazing good looks, women literally found it an honour to share a bed with him, even though they knew chances were, it would only be for one night. 

Jannie was also a big player on the social scene in Cape Town. If there was a big event on, he was invited simple as that. Being a single man in his late thirties, on almost every night of the week Jannie would be found brushing shoulders with celebrities, musicians, politicians and business people. 

This fact alone was perhaps the only thing that didn’t align with Kal and Jannie. Kal despised social events where she thought the conversation sat at surface level, gossip was created just for the sake of filling columns in magazines and the people, on the whole, were just not real. Kal was a solitude girl, there was something in that solitude, like an old friend, always drawing her back there.

Jannie was the type who thrived on people's attention. Kal thrived on setting herself goals, creating and keeping as busy as possible. 

When she first moved into to Jannie’s penthouse apartment, which was straight off the plane and into his bed, she entertained him by going along to events every other night of the week with him. He stayed home more often now that Kal was there. Their sexual chemistry was the absolute most intense he had ever shared with any woman ever. Kal had cast a spell on him without her even knowing the powers she possessed. He was in awe of everything about her. 

The way her lips turned up when she laughed, how the creases in her forehead became prominent when she was thinking, he loved the soft purrs she made when she was aroused and the gentle humming after she orgasmed. He loved the softness of the skin on her thighs, the smell behind her ears, the taste of her when he was going down on her. Often Jannie became mesmerised watching her dress, read a book or walk on the beach. He loved the way she flicked her hair out of her face in frustration when they ran together. She was all encompassing and he adored everything about her and vowed to never ever let her go. 

It took no time for Kal to hit the social rags as ‘The Girl Who Tamed Jannie’. Every magazine she picked up had pictures of her and Jannie whenever they were out together. At first, it was flattering, but after soon Kal detested seeing any picture of her and Jannie out together. There were even one set of photo’s taken of her and Jannie sitting out on the rooftop balcony of Jannie’s penthouse. Jannie, loving the attention laughed it off. Kal was fed up. Her old friend solitude was demanding attention.

It wasn’t long at all before Kal found a gap in the market for her new business. One thing all the social rags pointed out to Kal was how people lived and breathed off every word that was written in them. It mattered not that most of the stories were a more fabrication, people read and chose to believe regardless. 

With the internet really beginning to blossom, Kal chose to create an online magazine for the whole of South Africa. To date, there were none solely promoting South Africa. In fact, the idea of online magazines really hadn’t taken off at all. 

Jannie immediately fell in love with the idea and offered to come in a fifty-fifty partnership with Kal. Against her instincts screaming at her to say no, she loved him with all her heart and thought it could, in fact, be a great partnership. Kal had experience in setting a business up and knew how to handle the cogs of movement. Jannie, not only being already quite internet savvy, was an expert in marketing and there was no denying the contacts he would be able to bring to the table.

It never rested well for Kal to have an online magazine based wholly on gossip and soon enough she branched it off into four sections, social gossip "purely because this could turn out to be the biggest money spinner, social conscience, for all those people out there that are the game changers, news and sports. The sports section added last minute because Jannie believed it would help to maintain a male following. 

It wasn’t long before Kal and Jannie had a staff of thirty people working beneath them. If an outsider decided to take a good hard look into the lives of Kal and Jannie they would regard it as a fairytale lifestyle. And it was true Kal loved Jannie and Jannie adored the ground Kal walked on, but for Kal, she started to get the sense that the momentum was slowing. 

The magazine had been running successfully for five years when Kal decided to go global. Why focus on tiny South Africa when there was a potential audience of over five billion people? Going global meant more travel. Kal refused to travel and sent Jannie on the trips instead. 

She should have been feeling on top of the world. She should have been thrilled that the magazine had been rated the number one online read on the planet. But she wasn’t. More and more Kal felt her life was reducing to a simmer and sooner or later a simmering pot would dry up completely and there would be nothing left. Kal carried this feeling with her everywhere. 

Jannie was too wrapped up in the business and doting on Kal for him to notice and change in her, and he wouldn’t anyway, Kal until a certain point had kept it to herself. That was until one night, after a particularly fervent lovemaking session, Kal told Jannie she was no longer happy. 

‘I don’t understand,’ Jannie said with a most unnerving nervous expression.

‘There’s nothing to understand.’ 

‘What do yo mean you are not happy, we have everything, we have a life together.’ 

Kal thought of a million ways to make Jannie understand how she was feeling, but when she couldn’t figure on what the cause of it was herself, she found any words she used were useless. 

‘Everything about us is meant to be forever,’ he said when Kal offered no words of reassurance. 

‘I just can’t keep going like this.’ Kal was reminded of the day she left Sydney when Liv was an emotional wreck and she remained impassive. She felt exactly the same now. Impassive, neither here nor there to the build up of emotions she could see in Jannie. 

‘You can keep going, we can keep going, we will make some changes, everything will be fine.’ Jannie was desperate, he really was throwing himself out on an emotional limb. 

Kal, at first said nothing. 

‘One month. If I still feel the same way in a month, I’m leaving.’ 

Jannie by now thought he knew Kal inside and out. But her words, just right then, seemed almost callous, they were dry and effortless for her to speak. It was like she had been filled with concrete and a coldness ensued. It was no matter though, he loved Kal more than life itself. He would figure out a way to keep her by his side forever. 

When Kal spoke those words, she already knew it was too late, she had made her decision, she would leave. It was time to return to Australia, on her own. Even though she loved Jannie and is probably the love of her life, she knew he would never be the one to fill the deep void that now rests within her.

The following three weeks saw Jannie doing everything in his power to engage Kal back into their life together and there were so many moments filled with the same sparks that flew when they had first met. He took her for long drives up the coast where they stayed and made love under the stars, he took her to dinner, made her take time away from work, even managing to get her on a plane to see Victoria Falls. The falls took her breath away, just like Kal still took Jannie’s breath away. 

From that point, their moments were filled with the greatest love either of them had ever known. For Jannie, Kal filled his cup to overflowing. For Kal, the love went in, but the void was too big. The void took the love, suffocated it with a darkness now consuming Kal’s every motion. She thought she had it under control, but the longer she stayed, the more power the void gained. For the first time in her life, she began to feel a deep sadness. A sadness not for herself, but for Jannie. She felt the power of their combined love, she knew that what she was about to do would completely devastate his life. For her own sake though, it was time to go. 

There was still a week left if the month Kal had promised Jannie. She gave him everything she had to make him understand that it was never him that was making her feel this way. He was the most special thing to have ever collided with his life. Kal was sure Jannie started to relax in the thinking she was turning around, she was going to stay.

Jannie went to work on Monday morning, Kal told him she had an interview with an editor they had been hoping to acquire. Jannie had no idea that would be the last he would ever see of his beloved Kal. 

On the plane trip back to Australia, Kal had a lot of time for reflection. Poor Jannie, by now he must have figured out she was gone. When he wasn't right next to her, he liked to call her at least four times every day. Kal had left her phone in the apartment. She hadn’t left a goodbye note. What would she say anyway? He’d know. He’d know she’d left him. I flicker of remorse crossed her mind, it didn’t stay though. 

Kal’s thoughts ran back to when she first met Jannie. It was a real whirlwind. None of the start to their relationship gave her any time to think. Subconsciously that is exactly what she wanted, not to think. 

When she sold her business, she told people the timing was right, time to move on to the next venture, a change is what she needed. That’s what she told people. The truth of the matter was, she started to feel a familiar darkness creep in. A darkness that liked to follow her wherever she went. A darkness that dared her to remain strong in the face of what it was able to throw at her. Then Jannie was there, a tangent to love and keep her occupied.

Jannie was everywhere back then. He was the light to her every motion. They fit together like a good wine to a meal. Jannie completed her. She found love. A love she only thought existed in movies. A love she never thought she’d ever know. His light was so bright she had to wear sunglasses on her heart. 

Perhaps she became lax over the years. She let her guard down. But how could this happen when Jannie and she were so happy. 

Kal tried with all her might to assess what it was that makes a person happy. 

After some time following the thought from one direction to another Kal gave up and blurted out, ’It’s unattainable.’

‘What’s that?’ Asked the businessman who had been inadvertently been catching glimpses of her ever since she sat next to him on the plane. 

‘Nothing, nothing at all.’ 

Kal walked through the arrivals gate in Sydney with no-one waiting for her and certainly no fanfare. She hadn’t bothered to collect her baggage. Instead, she stood in line and waited for a taxi. 

‘No bags love?’ The taxi driver asked. 

‘No bags.’ 

‘Where to?’ 

‘Vaucluse.’ Kal directed. She was finally going home. 

It was early morning as they drove through the quiet streets of Sydney on the way to Bondi. The sun was just about to rise. The sky was still dark but clear. Kal noticed just how brightly the stars looked on that morning and if she peered out the left window she saw the moon, just over half full receding to the west. 

‘At the top, near the lighthouse please.’ Kal said to the driver. 

He did as directed, pulled over, she paid him the fare and watched as he drove away. 

There was no-one around, not another soul in sight. Kal was thankful of this small gift. 

She walked toward the ocean. Climbed a fence that took her to the cliffs she used to sit on alone as a kid. She sat. 

‘I’m back,’ she said, as if to a friend, ‘you did it, you got me back here. Are you happy?’ She asked at the same time laughing and knowing full well that she had no answer for happy. She tried at life with all her might, she had played the game as well as she could. She had travelled to distant countries, built businesses into little empires, she found love and loved hard and deep, but really, it was all just a game. A way to blindfold herself from that which was about to win the final battle against the light of life. 

Without emotion and feeling completely impassive to the years that enabled her to keep the charade alive, she walked to the edge of the cliff, extended each arm wide either side, took one last step forward and fell eighty meters to the rocks below. 

Her body rested there, now limp and lifeless as the morning waves crashed upon her flesh. Darkness no longer prevailed. 

Reviews

[emmajoy]

My goodness, this is quite a story.. and although long, it deserved two slow reads in order to find its true flavour.
Generally it flows very well. Kal, sophisticated, strong-willed, socially and commercially adept, quite quickly becomes a well.rounded though - for me, almost too polished a character. Jannie was/is every woman's dream! The build-up you give their relationship is fluently and elegantly done; their emotions described in varying intensity. However, I wish there could have been more overt thinking from Kal, instead of statements of this or that happening she was aware of but... where were her real emotions!. .
Was that the problem i suddenly wonder.. was she actually lacking in real life emotions?.
As to the ending, it hit me as coming too quickly. So much had been written before about far less vital goings.on. I'm surprised there weren''t hints of irrational weaknesses. Confessions here and there of doubt aren't enough. To be honest, i didn't warm to Kal. I didn't feel sorry or sad for her. I should have.
Perhaps more scattered dialogue would have helped by adding light and shade amid the many paragraphs. Your detailed accounts of the couple's lives were wonderfully descriptive. In fact there were so many tangents that might have been followed! Your ideas were showing very clearly at times!!
Hope to goodness I've not seemed negative because in fact this story has the makings of an interesting, sparkling novel. Could even make a movie, considering the travel and social goings-on - there would be/are plenty of colour in that respect.
Hope this is what you wanted, E...

[KWP]

This is so very perfect and has given me much to ponder :D and yes in fact it is indeed the outline of a novel that I propose to flesh out (once I get back into writing mode).

What a fabulous and honest review - I appreciate this much much!

It's funny because you said you didn't warm to Kal at all, but my friend loved her - interesting isn't it how we all have different eyes in to which we view the world. In saying that I think i can inderstand why you didn't warm to Kal - the story was all very surface level and doesn't give you a chance to get to know anyone really ...

you are wonderful and I know this would have taken you some time (in between cars driving round and round and round with your bro and sis) ... I hope you are having a lovely day ...

much much gratitude X

[emmajoy]

Now wondering if i should have sent the above in a message box and left far less here. Please, please tell me.. now wanting to hurt or offend

[KWP]

Your review is spot on and perfect and wherever it lands is where it should be :-) ... stop wondering It's perfect and just what I wanted X

[emmajoy]

Okay, what matter is that you're satisfied with my thoughts. x

[KWP]

more than satisfied - if i was close I'd kiss ya :D

[Wrenlane]

Well my friend…so much for “Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens” or “happily ever-after”! Wow, quite a story! Great character development, engrossing story line/plot; captivating; great imagery and an emotional roller coaster ride that unfortunately for Kal, your protagonist, at the end went off the rails and over a cliff! Yet that is life and death as we know it! So as to my summation as a reader, and surely other readers had similar thoughts about Kal…how could someone who presumably had it all…fame, power, abundant wealth and someone who loved her not only physically, but every aspect about her, every nuisance, her quirks down to the creases of her forehead, be consumed by darkness to the point of taking her own life? Could have been mental instability, chemical imbalance, deep dark depression? However, it just as easily could have been the lack of a third and just as vital component to the human make up and experience. The spiritual component. Of course not everyone buys into that and to each their own. Nonetheless, within me lives the belief that we are body, (mind/soul/consciousness), and spirit. And I believe it is that spiritual component that offers the greatest hope that there is more to this life than the one we live here on this physical plane. And if that part is starved and left void, something such as darkness will rush in to fill it! In the eyes many in today’s world who hold fast to a myopic view of life, when asked what would it take to make you happy in life, many in turn, would describe a life like Kal and Jannie were living. After all it is ever-present in our many varied cultures and in the full spectrum of the media! Wow, look at me psychoanalyzing a fictional character! Hey in my exuberance to write a review, in the light of your character Kal, I saw a platform and jumped on it, now let me jump down. Yet I can’t leave without saying KWP, your talent as a writer continues to grow and excel. Your talent is undeniable! Can’t wait to see you on a world-stage talk show one day talking about your latest work! BTW I just approved the final front cover for my third book. I will have to e-mail you a picture image! Later my friend & Happy Mother’s Day!

[Dash the Reaper]

I dont want to lie, i dont usually read stories,well to be honest those that are long just like this one,but you managed to keep me glued until the end.A fine piece of work you have done here

[KWP]

I tell you I am just the same when it comes to stories ... so thanks man ... you know for making it through ... you made me smile ... must have been a hellofva trek for ya :) .... Cheers X

[Philip Muls]

Impressive write! Good flow, easy and captivating reading.

Layered structure leading to an impactful ending.

Well done! I like the way you describe the settings in Capetown and Sydney,

[wordman]

great story,reads like one life to live

[KWP]

did you just read all of that .... what an honor XX

[Einstein Noodle]

oh my goodness!!! you completely sucked me in ..had no idea of such and end ... there are always editing chores to do eh!? especially on a longer story (longer for the Cafe anyway) two of your characters use the word whilst ...i think it should belong to only one ;) ... your protagonist is a strong, adventurous woman, which i like ... and your protagonist for me is that empty place always tugging at her ..never filling ... and poor Jannie! got the tables turned on him ..poor sap ... your name choices are pretty unique .. all kind of uni-sex ..made me wrestle a bit with my confusion :) can't believe that Kal is in the cold deep sleep ..such a bright shining star :((
E.

[KWP]

hey you - made it all the way through - well I am happy and impressed by this small feat ;) you are always picking my on my lax editing and I do thank you for that - you make a good point with the 'whilst' example - the names - well Jannie is actually a typical South African white male name (my best friends hubby is Jannie - and Kal is short for Kailka - an indian Goddess...

nice to see you my friend ... been a while ... all settled now?

[Einstein Noodle]

aha!! thank you for that cultural education ...yes ..all the way thru ..its because i have missed you that much ;) pretty much settled ..working on getting a garage and storage built for the remaining "stuff" we can't seem to find spots for ..i am amazed how much i drug with me in spite of unloading three times as much before we moved ... i must get some pictures going ...it is something i enjoy getting from others but just not into taking my own ... love ya ma'am!

[Earl Schumacker]

Hi KWP, Beautiful tragic story. It reads more like a novel or novella. It is an enjoyable and insightful journey into darkness. (I hope it is not a true story.) Nicely done. KWP is an interestingly short name but hard to pronounce. Is it a foreign language, perhaps a form of speaking short hand or from the "Initial-list-of-linguistics? (just kidding. I'm getting silly.) Keep up the good work. Great story. Earl