To My Cousin's Happy Self

an apology maybe

I lost you to the riotous ambiance of the sullied world

I lost you to the monsters not hidden in closets but behind the words I told you so

I lost you to the choices you made the ones you angrily label mistakes they are not mistakes

I lost you to the way they haunt you like midnight like a regretful soliloquy

I lost you to the men that forced their way into you life only to take what's not theirs to take

I lost you to the parts of you that you lost to greedy hands and unremorseful mouths

And even though you are standing right in front of me I know

I lost you

Maybe someday

I will find you again