Not Right

The walls are falling,
The floors are crumbling,
My life is done,
You cover my body with dirt.
I used to live,
If only for a while,
I can't make you understand
How my life isn't right,
I can't cover my eyes
And just wish to be out.
I look at you
I know right away
That i love you
But you'll never love me the same.
My life was a game
All ironic and strange
I put on my show
Stage fright and all
I failed at the show
I was booed off the stage.
I looked out in the crowd
Right before I walked off
I seen you there laughing
Right at me.
I fall to the floor
Crying for hours.
You'll say you're sorry
but then just walk off and leave me.

Reviews

[Linear]

You really got this one to flow with emotion, all you want him to see, yet he cannot see the inner beauty of you, you put yourself on show for him, and he laughs, this only dhows he is not worthy of you, well written piece

[Adam :P]

really well written, alot of pain in it. good

[Steve]

This is very well written about such in intense subject. I could almost feel the pain and agony in this write.

[poetic soul]

the pain...is so much visible in yo words...
the pain that someone you love gives you,
not jus by not loving back,
but also by making you miserable
and then, jus say a word "sorry"
and walk away, without even being bothered about what he's left behind...

i liked this piece..its cold and warm at the same time...good job girlie!!!

[Eileen]

I see you have a thing for dirt covered bodies. None the less. Great write once again.

[SilentLullabies]

On the line "I seen you laughing" do you mean "saw" maybe???