Eternity

Brief poem

Break your spell please, your laugh drives me to my knees. I wonder if you think of me, my heart is open like the sea. Tell me are you meant for me, tell me what it all means. I can't help but think, of you do you think of me. Is our love meant to be, is there a you and me or we. Only one entity for all Eternity.

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Why don't you break your lines? Seems to be what everyone else does.

[KaneBallew]

Is that better when writing a poem?

[Satan]

Do what you want just express yourself, they're all words at the end of the day. I can appreciate what matt said though, perhaps it could be slightly easier on the eyes.

[mattavelli]

Youre looking to improve your writing. Here you have a poem laid out as prose. Line breaks seemed a logical point to bring up. And in this case, I'd suggest simply breaking your lines wherever you placed a punctuation mark. "I can't help but think, of you do you think of me" might be an exception.

[KaneBallew]

Thanks to both you guys so much. I really appreciate you taking the time out to read and review my work.

[Satan]

No worries man. Keep at it, you'll find out a lot you didn't know about yourself.