First thoughts.

Not sure where this is going. But I may add, I may leave it at this. You never know.

don't worry, I'm going to be happy. no matter how much it hurts now my dear, that will soon be a thing of the past. a little bit deeper, yes, go on that's it. there! now all of your sins can flow freely from your earthly body.
I never wanted to finish my story this way, but it soon became the norm for me. I would sit awake for hours on end, contemplating... wondering about life after my existence, obviously I would still have existed for a short period of time in this vast, ever expanding world, but once I was gone.. oh once I was gone it was different. I found beauty in the sadness of my peers, my family, my enemies even. Because once I was gone, I was noticed! People paid attention to the finest detail of my life, down to the colour pen I used in school, to why I decided that shirt was justified when I ended it. My mother, a once strong, proud woman now a matted mess of tears and agony, her shoulders slumped over the kitchen counter as she fought for her breath through the low sobs she uttered. My sister's, disbanded and resentful over the fact neither saw what was coming. We never were the closest of families but from here I can see the chaos and destruction my actions have brought upon them. Their own fears now realised, I had shown them the true reality of this world, the hatred, the simplicity, the brutal honesty of what they felt was no longer clouding their vision of each other. Yet they did not grow closer, they understood each others pain, but could not comprehend the words and actions needed to heal one another. They were lost, their paths had been divided, maybe one day they would be brought back together, but I doubt it.Thr feelings that were bottled up would never come out, they would never share the admiration they had for each others sttength, never look to another to another as an outlet for the pain. They would look inside themselves, towards the flaws in their own building of character. If they had only reacted differently. If they had only tried to talk to me. If they had not felt the need to treat me the way they did. If. If. F*****g if.
But that is that, they are they, and this is exactly this.
Nothing can be done now. I am happy. F**k you.

Author's Note

First thoughts I've ever put down. Be nice.

Reviews

[aj milton]

Poignant...

"I may leave it at this" I'm not sure where the story could go unless someone arrives to staunch the flow of "sins". That is great symbolism.

[keith]

first thoughts put to paper?
ask and i will get you all the paper you could ever want or need

'But that is that, they are they, and this is exactly this.
Nothing can be done now. I am happy. F**k you.'

raw beauty raw connection raw truth