Breath

I couldn’t breathe.

 

I don’t think people are aware how scary that is until it happens. I couldn’t breathe, the air was being sucked out of me through my side. 

I couldn’t breathe. 

You inhale and exhale through your nose, but have you felt like you were exhaling without choice before? Exhaling without choice through your side. And in the process of that exhale, a loose organ that’s been dangling in your chest from strands of tissue and veins over the past two weeks lightens. You hear water pouring out into a bucket beside you and you realize it’s your body fluid and it stained your pants. Organ water. That’s mostly clear, but sort of red from sitting in your chest cavity surrounded by pockets of blood. It stains your white t-shirt pink. That fluid you hear rushing like a waterfall, that loose organ you felt like a water balloon growing between your lungs, diaphragm, and heart. That watery fist just got dumped into a bucket after the doctors popped you with a needle and sucked it out with a wet-dry vacuum.

Reviews

[Twilight]

"A loose organ" indeed.? Well, for a while I just had to assume that it was the heart; until that soon seemed ruled out. Could this have been based upon, a real life experience of the writer; or linked in some way with an actual personal experience? It reminded me a bit, of a subgenre within horror; known as "body horror". Of course, the breathing difficulty which is emphasised; only adds another level of sheer terror for the hapless and physically helpless protagonist..! Interesting and original, AE. I accept "read requests" on this site too.

[AE]

It's definitely body horror—more of a journal entry than a story, so thanks.

[FlatDaddy]

I'm a bit flummoxed with regard to this piece, AE (Does that stand for "Artificial Entrails?). It can't be a recounting of one of your operations; you would be dead. Of course, you couldn't breathe: you'd be dead. You start with the first person "I" then switch to second person "You," which makes it confusing. There is no plot. It can't be a journal entry because, again, you can't write that if you are dead. A mish/mash of bloody words. Your first review said it best, I fear: this one kinda sucks.

[AE]

I appreciate the honesty. Yes, it's true, and no, I'm not dead because this is a description of a chest tube insertion for a collapsed lung. You're right about the pov shift, though. I'm usually pretty consistent about that, but this is an unedited journal entry, so I left it as is.

[The dark Hydra]

ooo bad news bud, this one kinda sucks