Drowning

A Story by Kat

"Depression is a lot like drowning except that you can see everyone else around you breathing fine."

At night as you lay in your bed do you ever slip away for a moment or two and realize that you are a single person on a planet of billions, that out of everything that you could be you are you. I find it incredibly hard to carry this weight. I feel that I am unworthy of the opportunity that I have been given, but I have no idea what I can do about it. I've always said that I'm a lazy person, but now know that lazy isn't the right word. I'm tired. I'm so incredibly tired. It doesn't happen all the time, sometimes I can go outside and run around and be perfectly content, but then the anxiety hits. My greatest fear is failure, but I don't feel like I have the energy to continue. In a world where your worth is tied to your success, it is almost impossible to live up to expectations. When I see the disappointment in my loved one's eyes it feels like I die a little further, that my breath is forced out of my body and I'm struggling to catch it again. I guess the best way to explain it is by saying it's like drowning, except no one can see it so no one will come to help.