Wind

Twirling twisting under over

Looping back again

Pulling pushing with such force

It breaks the backs of men

 

It rises up and pushes down

The force laughs in your face

Tilt your head and grit your teeth

Keep your feet in place

 

Careless ease and snarky pressure

Poisoning your ken

Stamping out your hopeful flames

Never dream again

 

You have the strength, push it back

It will only slow your pace

Fight it hard with all your rage

But don’t forget your grace

 

Author's Note

just jotted this down, still needs some work
tell me what you think. I'm open to suggestions !

Reviews

[A. Amos]

I think keep it just the way it is and work on a new one

[Roger Turgeon]

I like this a lot...it's to the point and has a point. Strong imagery.

[00000000000000000000000..]

I loved it ,It made think deep about so many things in my life that you have to push reaaly hard with grace and faith,may never happen rite there in than but they always come back:)

[Jonathan Ballam]

Interesting concept you have going here. I think you may have to tweak the ending at some stage. Maybe leave it for a while ;)

[Dr. Wood ?]

I think it is ok as it is..It sounds raw..but then the wind is THAT....I read this because I noticed it was posted on my birthday..Glad I did..a belated present

[koty bell]

Needs no work...its yours which makes it special.. besides its a great write.. My advise dont ever sell yourself short.. Your a great writer not only ur talent.. But your belief in yourself well make u go far

[koty bell]

Needs no work...its yours which makes it special.. besides its a great write.. My advise dont ever sell yourself short.. Your a great writer not only ur talent.. But your belief in yourself well make u go far

[minisla]

It could mean several things. Like it.

[despitegreathands]

the final two lines really make this poem great. it feels floaty lofty and all over the place which is not a bad thing. i like it a lot.

[Vile]

"Fight it hard with all your rage
But don’t forget your grace"


Lovely line, I think in these two lines alone you summarized the whol poem. Word choice in this is nice, and well thoughtout. Not too simplistic or cliche. Over all, well written.
:D