You

- Every night at about this time, I wonder where you are. Close to me? Miles away? You'll always seem too far.
- You're the thought on my mind, the smile upon my face, the wind that gives me breath. To me, you're more than worth fight for and I'll fight till I've nothing left.
- Though life has thrown another curve and tried to keep us apart, I'll pause my time to make things right, for you're the very beating of my heart.
- Rest your head, sleep tight, be assured in every way- I'll never give up until you're here with me, you can count upon the day!

Reviews

[Chris]

The content expresses the thoughts well... but the rhythm stumbles a little.

[Kate H]

I can totally relate with where you're coming from on that. I struggled with this one for a good while simply because it's of such a personal tribulation to me. I appreciate your review as well as your input.

[Chris]

I read a work at least three times aloud - to taste the rhythm and flow, gather an understanding of the author's intent, and the feel where the bottlenecks/stumbles focus most. Sometimes adding or dropping a simple word doesn't change our intent but does wonders for the flow.

[Kate H]

You know what? Keeping that advice in mind, I'll go and revise the piece. Thank you very much for your insight as well as your (very appreciated) advice!

[Chris]

Sometimes we even say more with fewer words... sometimes it takes more - each work is unique to our needs to express.

[Kate H]

One of my very favorite high school teachers told me, in almost the same words you used here, the same thing about saying less with more. Again , you advice and/or input, is always welcomed here.

[Kate H]

*your advice

[zainul]

Appreciate the heartfelt words.

[Kate H]

No, thank you for your review as well as your comment. It's most appreciated!

[zainul]

You are most welcome.:)

[Kate H]

Thank you also, for the friend request. I love reading new work!!! :)

[zainul]

This is my pleasure.
I hope you will add more writings soon.:)