One Nine

My 19th birthday.

i am 19 today at 11:23 a.m.
but the phosphorescent stars above my bed
have never seemed further away
i never had them till i came here
now i know my mom was always right
and they really would have ripped the paint clear off the ceiling
but now i am connected to you and me and humanity
from a birthday present left by a previous tenant
reminding me that i am always just the same
as every other person who has ever been
the "gross" age

it's 5:13a.m. and i say i'm hungry
my roommate says she has a surprise
a giant icing monster cookie from giant eagle
i learned not to indulge at once
and get sick on excess
so i've got half of these kids here at school
beat already, or at least the run of the mill
OU students
but don't worry about throwing the rest out
because there might be more in store
tomorrow, as in a cake, after Raising Cane's
and raising cane

i have class tomorrow
two, that i should be skipping
7a.m. comes too soon
with curled hair and my pink birthday underwear
my birthdays have always been pink
so close to valentine's day
but this number doesn't seem so happy to me
where is the marriage and the child
and the college drop-outs
that were my parents at 22?
i haven't got much time to lose
but at least i've got the loved and lost part down
i am old and i have aged well
thank you Lord, for my past
it was everything to me<3

Reviews

[DavidRyan]

Well done. I can't really remember nineteen because a lot of it was a haze of trying to be older and somewhere I wasn't, but I like what you have to say and a little memory in the back of my mind is agreeing with you.

[Here's What I Say]

Well. At least your 19th was more eventful than mine. I didn't even get a slice of my own birthday cake on mine (damn relatives; my parents honestly thought that dinky little cake was going to feed all those Filipinos).

Alright, getting down to specifics, wonderful imagery (even though you feel 19 is a "gross" age). I do wonder why almost nothing is capitalized, but probably upon further analysis, I might come up with my own theory. I like how you seem to break up some scenes by time--first giving us the time you'll officially be 19 and then almost doing a bit of a countdown and telling us what's going on at these certain times.

Ok, I think I got my theory. First off, this birthday is not the formal kind of sweet 16 birthday, so not capitlizing it definitely gives a more informal feeling. This may or may not be what you were going for, but that's what I'm reading from it. You also think this is a "gross" age, and perhaps this particular age is that gross to you that talking about it doesn't deserve proper punctuation? It definitely fuels the disgust you have for this age. Once again, may or may not be what you were going for, but that's my individual interpretation.

And personal tidbit: I was supposed to be born on July 4th but my doctor said something to the effect of "we have to charge for emergency" which is doctor-speak for "I am NOT working on a national holiday".

[Orlando Murcia]

This was an amazing piece

This style is way different from most of the poems
that I read, that probaly why I enjoyed reading this one

Thank you for sharing

Orlando M

[Drew Wade]

this has to be one of the best poems out there, anyway. the specifically shaped sections really add different tones to it, but keep it all whole. you captured mood and foreboding perfectly, and there's nothing to fault here. I hope you find the love that you lost somewhere along the way. ( ;) )

[Caleb Benton]

I really enjoyed this read. I am in the second half of my one-nine year and if i do say so myself, it has been a very "gross" year. I like how you have captured the struggle of the transition from child to adult, and how you have contained the poem within a specific time frame. excellent job. going in my favs