Hospital Visit

imagination kept us close -

but when the lightbulb flickered you fell

branches banged on window panes

stars rained on the parched grass

a lost paper plane circled your bed

where nurses tucked away your face

and i cried in an empty staircase

until the clock struck “end”

Reviews

[Mari' Emeraude]

This poem would pair beautifully with a gothic style photo of a woman crying in an empty staircase. It had that brooding, melancholy about it. Beautiful poem.

[Kay]

Thank you very much! You have a great appreciation for the gothic style. That's an interesting idea for the pic, were you thinking of something like this: https://www.google.com/search?biw=1525&bih=730&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=h5bAWumVO8aZ_QaWw494&q=woman+crying+on+staircase+dark&oq=woman+crying+on+staircase+dark&gs_l=psy-ab.3...3140.4736.0.4962.6.6.0.0.0.0.128.482.5j1.6.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..1.0.0....0.IurSjG31LrY#imgrc=eD7I-BlFhD8svM:

[Lorry]

Hospital visits are rarely a pleasure and you capture the feeling of hopelessness and waiting and thoughts stuck on a loop playing over and over in your head, superbly.
Could imagine the sounds and smells of the corridors as you wait an eternity for news, which I know only too well from being an accident prone child.
Hope it was all good.

[Kay]

Thanks for the great review!

[Lorry]

You're very welcome.

[John the Baptist]

A collage of seemingly disparate images which, when viewed as a whole, tell a tale of sadness and loss. Very moving. Good work.

[Kay]

I'm glad it came across that way in the structure. The idea was when you go through this experience, thoughts come to mind sporadically all at once, but are related as a whole. Thank you!

[Ghost]

Sounds like this is a poem for losing someone? If so I am sorry for the loss... This is a sad poem but a nice write.

[Kay]

This was inspired by a woman I was speaking with who had lost her mother in the hospital to cancer. She's still grieving and struggling with the loss. Thanks for reading this!

[Ghost]

You are welcome... A close friend of mine lost her dad in 2016 and is still grieving for him, so I do know the pain I go through watching her suffer.

[Kay]

I'm sorry to hear. =( It's heartbreaking even to see someone go through it.