Substitution

Where did my heart go wrong

The air is what I remember most,
The morning chill my daily dose.
Finely shredded leaves under my feet,
Long fields of untouched wheat.

To the home where my grandma yearns,
For her only daughter to learn.
One must change to achieve what life has to offer,
One must be better in order to prosper.

How I miss mothers raspy voice,
Cigarette after cigarette, it was her choice.
I wish to taste my grandmothers warm meals,
Everything about my old rural home appeals.

The decisions I made held consequences,
Too many people with superficial promises. Now I'm alone,
With no place to call home.

Reviews

[richieb]

Iffypigeon,
Your words spring feelings of melancholy as I follow this lonesome journey. Clear imagery that allows the reader to be part of this scene. No one applauds sadness but I do applaud your writing.
Blessings,
Richie b.

[IffyPigeon]

I appreciate your words friend. Thank you.

[Luci]

I felt the nostalgia in this. Very poignant and beautiful to read, thank you for sharing

[LKBillips]

We are the sum of our choices, either good or bad, but the beauty is we are always choosing, always changing and we can forge paths wherever we want as long as we have the will. Nice poem.

[Heather Jayne]

Great poem! The opening line caught my attention in a positive way and made me want to continue. That's an important part of writing. Good job :)

[¿]

If home can't be a place to call, may be a feeling to feel!
Your heart may had gone wrong at the time when it didn't listened to the right call of mind....I guess..
Twas great read..thanks for sharing!

[Coyote Poetry]

Home become a honor word in old age. I felt the sadness with the loss of family and safe place to live. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[IffyPigeon]

It is you I have to thank for listening to my own viewpoint of the word “home”

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well and you are welcome.

[wordman]

we can always go home through the portals of our minds

[IffyPigeon]

Very true I appreciate your viewpoint

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Cherrie]

Those are bitter sweet memories. Warmth and love served on a cookie sheet. Fresh and hot straight from the oven. Then somewhere along the way we become top notch on head of the table. Try and take joy from the fact your little quirks are now someone else's memory.
:)
Lovely write.

[IffyPigeon]

Thank you I love this comment

[Chris Shaw]

A nostalgic write, longing for the comfort of better days. Your third stanza, emphasises we all have choices to make, and sadly not all those choices are for the better. A fine piece of writing.

Chris

[IffyPigeon]

Goodness thank you so much

[Leslie Philibert]

What I enjoy here is the change of verse form in the last verse. This gives this an interesting change at the end. A fine write, well done.

[IffyPigeon]

Thank you if you have any other suggestions please pm me. I really appreciate your liking to my writing

[Mikku]

Beautiful piece depicting homesickness...

[IffyPigeon]

Thank you I tried to incorporate a different view on my version of the word “home”

[Mikku]

You definitely succeeded...