Dancing Barbie

Dancing Barbie run away,
Through the Alvin's tiny way.
Down the street she ran so fast,
Humming homie down the track.

Sing a song she loves to dance
She will come from where she ran.
All the way she comes again,
Hipping hooping all the day.

Author's Note

My own tanaga by the way.
Thanks to Kescha for introducing me to this form of poem... Sounds like kids poem I guess.

Hope it makes some sense.

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Respect for trying different poetic forms. I am not one for form as such but do like to try different forms and especially short form Japanese poetry. I had never heard of a Tanaga, Tanka yes. Anyway I will give this a go. You have the syllable count right (7777) but I cannot decern any rhyming scheme even though modern Tanaga has more flexibility? It works well and does sound rather like a nursery rhyme.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, John.
Just trying it the first time.

[Ted Kniffen]

It does have a childlike feel to it which I like. There is a tension to this...an underlying sense of unease for some reason...like dancing Barbie is a maniacal killer who slips in and out all the while mesmerizing with her dancing.
Maybe I've been watching to many horror films.

A good one, Kay.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you for your thoughtful review, Ted.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

I like this a lot, th anks so much, has a nice feel to it!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, Julie.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

I'm glad you like it.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

No worries

[Iam-me]

I liked this a lot. Made me smile. And loved the hipping hooping all day ending. :)

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, Dawn.
I'm glad it made you smile.

[Iam-me]

My pleasure Kay.