An Eddy in Time

~50 word story~

 

“Don’t touch that!!” was the last thing she remembered.

 

Incandescent light reflected off the moons, casting a light violet shadow over the foreign landscape and rendered her speechless. Light headed still from the journey within the vortex she barely acknowledged the vision that swam before her eyes before she collapsed.

 

Author's Note

~maybe someday I'll add to this piece~

Reviews

[J.Black]

I liked this alot. You are wonderful.

[Sean]

I enjoy it. I'm really into "fraction fiction" or "micro-fiction" or whatever people chose to call it.

Unfortunately, given the nature of the form, a review can usually be no longer than the work itself....but thanks for writing!

[Girlintheworld]

I really like the title and story! I felt like I was in space.

One slight suggestion I would make is to consider changing "moons cast" to "moon, casting".

I would definitely like to read if you ever decide to add to it.

[JudyC]

I can see, hear, and feel ("light-headed") this scene. The phrase "before she collapsed" makes me want to know what happens next. You accomplish so much in just 50 words--I'd love to see the result if you decide to add to this! Nice work!