A Possession (Part 1 of the Elise Solberg Story)

I was in the shower and thinking on how I haven't seen a real scary horror flick in a while and then the idea struck me to write a poem, which also tells a story its divided into several parts.

A Possession.

 

Somewhere behind this eerie house

Lies a well that no one talks about.

The water stale and the vegetation frail

Villagers speak about horrifying tales

On one dark November night

A car broke down, no help in sight.

The family sought shelter in this house

A fire they lit, for the lights were out.

Young Elise, turned 15 in June

Walked towards the back, the storage room.

She found a key that opened a gate,

At the rear end of this house, she had to investigate.

She took a stroll and spotted a well.

She walked towards it, in its charm she fell.

She peered at the water and saw her own reflection

She invited herself to take a swim

Her parents came looking for her

Her Mother, started to  scream with fear

As Elise was drowning in the well

Screaming the words that still gives me chills

Mother, Help me, This is the Gate to Hell.

Her father rushed to grab her hand

Just a human man, no chance did he stand

As he saw the devil in her eyes

He struggled in the  tug o' war for his daughters life.

A devious voice

Said to him,

I dwell within.

I am the barer of sin.

Release your daughter, it's her time.

For a Possession of her soul is rightfully mine.

Author's Note

I'm not the best at grammar and stuff and relatively new to writing poems of this genre. Any help would be appreciated.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

This is by no means my favorite genre but I was enticed, and pleasantly shocked. This is a strong, purposeful write, you led me into the ghastly story and kept the suspense up throughout the entire read. Creepy ending, I guess that's the whole idea....'her soul is rightfully mine' brought chills to my spine. Also, I can't believe you've only been writing for a short period of time, you have a natural talent. Kudos.

[KeeD]

Thank you, i'm glad for chills is what I was looking for :D! I don't know about natural talent, but i'll work real hard to get there! xoxo, thank you for the awesome review.

[Frieda P]

Hey Top Writer's Badge, ya can't be too shabby hon!! ;)

[KeeD]

haha I just realized I got that, thanks to your amazing reviews!

[Kajal Gulabani]

Very well attempted. Beautifully woven. Good Going..

[KeeD]

Thank you!

[Leslie Philibert]

Fine write,that reminded me of the script of Psycho,I`m not surprised you thought of it in the shower....

[KeeD]

haha, thanks!

[Eric Cox]

A cool, creatively penned tale, nicely done horror weaved within.

[KeeD]

Thank you. Much appreciated.

[Eric Cox]

welcome.

[David the writer]

This was great. I have tools that help me when writing a horror poem, and they usualy work pretty good for me. It seems at one point you established rhyming, but that went away. I think you should bring rhyming in and out in parts like when the girl falls into hell. I do think this was great as is, but that could really help. Another thing, in well placed stanzas, messing with the syllables really sends chills down the reader's spine. So far, that's all I can think to strengthen it, but like I've said it's great as is

[KeeD]

This is so cool ^ exactly the help I need to better my writing. Cheers, i'll work on it, thank you so much. Hopefully I get to uploading part 3,4 and 5 soon.

[David the writer]

Yeah, but you can't rush art. But alas cheers! Welcome btw, enjoy your stay here at WC. For me WC is a big part of life, alot more than just writing.

[Rob Santana]

Hey pretty good write. Reminds me of the movie The exorcism of Emily Rose for some reason,that movie was pretty trippy.

[KeeD]

hey thanks a lot :D , this is just part one of the story I want to tell, I've uploaded part 2 on here as well, called Eternal Damnation, Still working on the next 3 parts. Cheers for the review, much appreciated. And that was a good movie, apparently based on true events of Anneliese Michel