Intergalactic Playboy

I stand here wondering about conspiracies 

Like why won't aliens ever abduct me

Has my tinder match vacancy 

really transcended across galaxies?

I'm not a prude, I'm open to being probed

Just look my way and I'll drop the robes

I'm an adjusting lover, I wouldn't lie 

Beam me up baby, I'm your guy!

Hey I'm human, don't ask for my specs

I'm a ten out of ten at disappointing sex

You might have that alien technology 

But my joystick comes labelled as an apology