Halloween

This story is about two children who went trick or treating for Halloween and suddenly they whined going into an abandoned house.

Riley and Ronnie went trick or treating on Halloween they knocked on every door saying " trick or treat. Their bag was filled up with tons of candy. From then on, as they finished trick or treating they walk towards an abandoned house that looked old and fell apart. Once they go inside the house quietly they began to hear spooky sounds. Riley and Ronnie were both scared to make loud noises so they tippy toe down a basement and they run into a skeleton that was alive so they screamed and ran out of the house immediately. They noticed the skeleton following them. As Ronnie screamed for help a truck driver pulled over to stop and help. Ronnie explained to the truck driver what the issue was so the truck driver offered to give Ronnie and Riley a ride home inside his truck. They accepted the ride and got inside the truck. As the truck driver man began driving off he sees the skeleton running to the truck. So he drives very fast on the road turning a different route. From then on, the truck driver noticed the girls sleeping in the back of the truck so he decided to wake up and offered to buy them something to eat before going home. They stop off at at this diner called Jerry's. As they sat down and ate at the table to look at the menu a waitress comes to take their orders. Riley ordered a chicken sandwich with French fries and Ronnie ordered sausage eggs and grits as well. The truck driver ordered a cheeseburger with tater tots. The waitress announced that their food would take forty minutes to cook. While sitting at the table waiting for their food to be served Ronnie and Riley thanked the truck driver for helping them and buying something to eat for them as well. The truck driver was honored by hearing that. As time passed by their food was being served at their table.They enjoyed the delicious dinner at Jerrys. Afterwards, the truck driver drove them to their house safely. From then on, their parents gave them a hug and gave a special thanks to the truck driver for the act of kindness he had shown to Ronnie and Riley. They decided to bless him with a five hundred dollar check. The truck driver began to cry tears of joy and felt blessed. He thanked them and enjoyed the rest of his evening.

Reviews

[RomaJ]

Hi Bianca, I really enjoyed reading your Halloween story. I love the adventure with Riley and Ronnie and how the truck driver shows kindness. The spooky scene with the skeleton was fun and fits the Halloween mood. One suggestion is that the story could be even more thrilling if the suspense is built up a bit more by showing, not just telling, what the children see, hear, and feel inside the abandoned house.

You could also break the story into shorter paragraphs so it is easier to follow. Overall, it is a warm and creative story with a clear message about kindness, and I think with a few small changes it could be even more exciting to read. Thank you for sharing your story.