Hello

I lost my grandfather at a young age but the impact he had on me has stuck with me. Even after all of these years.

Hello?
I don’t know if you can hear me from where you are.
I’d come to you if I could,
but heaven feels too far
and my feet are already tired from running in circles down here.

There’s so much I need to say.
So much sitting on my chest,
pressing the breath out of me.

Hello?
I’m just checking to see if the connection is still strong…
because mine feels like it’s breaking up.

I’ve wandered into a place I don’t recognize.
Doesn’t feel like home.
Doesn’t feel like me.
Funny how a God�'fearing man
can still let the devil walk him somewhere
he knows he doesn’t belong.

Hello?
I wish I could hear your voice right now.
Just once.
Just enough to steady my hands
and remind me who I am when I forget.

I’m standing at a crossroads,
dust on my shoes, doubt in my spirit.
Every path looks right.
Every path feels wrong.
And I’m terrified that one step
might undo everything I’ve been praying for.

I don’t want to make the wrong choice.
I don’t want to disappoint God.
I don’t want to disappoint you.

Pap pap...
I know you’re no longer tied to this world,
but I’m still tangled in it.
Still fighting things I don’t always talk about.
Still needing the wisdom you didn't get a chance to give me.

I need you.
Not to save me,
just to remind me how to stand.

Hello?
Please tell me I’m not alone out here.