The Only One

This is dedicated to my father, Austin Malvit Conyers, who died May 9, 2000.

 

Love sifted through closed fingers like sand...
Couldn't grasp the mist of the moment tightly enough.
But yet I still hold on.
Tears form now as I know
That this is forever gone.
Nothing grows up from the grave but flowers and weeds
Neither of which I truly need.
I was your seed
Which you planted,
Loved (a little?)
Yet took for granted.
Discarded... left alone,
Away from your gravitational pull...
Little girl lost in a den of wolves.
I was never truly able to find my way home.
That terrified child still hides inside,
despite the smoke and mirrors
of confidence and pride.
I am an actress by trade.
I act like I've got it made.
I act like things couldn't be better.
I act like I don't have shoeboxes filled with love letters
written to the ONLY man
I
EVER
LOVED.
Daddy, you were
the only one.