Reflection of My Life

A Poem by Rose Colbert

A poem I wrote after I got grounded. I'm going through a cycle of depression unexplained.

I never look in the mirror anymore
When I look at my relfection,
It's somebody I don't know

When I was younger,
I knew who I was, so I could look

But as I've grown older,
I can't stand to look anymore
I don't know who I am anymore

I play protector to many worlds
But here, I'm helpless

I play guardian angel to thousands of people
But here, I'm useless

I am known by nearly all elsewhere
Here, I'm nobody

Invisible
That's what I am
No more than a ghost to most

I have no direction in life anymore
I used to have a clear goal
But now, I don't know anymore

I have friends
But so few of them know
I can't tell them
The secret that wrenches my soul
So few would accept me
Fewer would believe me

When I look in the mirror.
I expect to see a wolf
Or somebody beautiful

But all I see
Is an average person so few care about
A tiny, insignificant speck
That will be forgotten by all
When the cloak of darkness
Will be swept over me
And I breathe no more

I really don't know what
To expect of life anymore
So many twists and turns

Fate and Destiny,
I hate thee
As thou hate me

You enjoy seeing me writhe in agony
As I struggle to find my way
In the world of ignorant humans

Your enjoyment is the pain of others
Why?
Why am I a special target for you?
Why?
Why?
Why...

I just want to live in peace
With my friends and family

But you constantly throw me for loops
Making my mother hate me
Making me hate my mother
I can't stand it anymore

Why was I given life?
So I could be a plaything
Of two demented twins
That enjoy nothing more
Than the pain of others?

I just want peace in my life
But it's an impossible dream

All my dreams are impossible

Dreams are like a glass rose
Fragile and fleeting
One wrong brush and they shatter

They're like a silver knife
One plunge
And they go into the chest
Then are twisted to make you bleed
You bleed, but you don't die physically
You die a slow, painful death of the soul
A fate much worse than that of the physical kind

So many twists and turns on this road of life...

Life sucks
Life is unfair
Life bleeds you to death

....I want no more of it