To Be Anything

I want to be that girl that runs away with you to the sea.

To grace the feathers of my hair with barking waves.

To  feel bursts and beams radiate on ivory skin.

To sink my toes into depths of sand licked fiery with the devil's tongue.

That pulls her body against salt shrouded rocks,

heart beating within breast.

To drink the maelstrom spun like lambs wool,

pulling sheets around soft thighs.

I want to be that girl,

who forever says hello without a goodbye.

Reviews

[613]

This was beautifully written. It unraveled so delicately; like a slow, intriguing story. Certainly one of my favorite poems from Writer's Café thus far. Well done!

- Brittney

P.S. Would you mind checking out my novel, HIM? Before sending it off for publishing, I'd love it if I could have as much constructive criticism as possible. (:

[Kimberlee]

Thank you so much. Definitely!

[613]

You're welcome. & thank you! (:

[dan]

Kimberlee, your wordplay in this piece is shiny and sparkling. Choice of which words to use in perfect. The pace is not frenetic but just in time. To tear this apart into quotable niblets would be futile; this is exactly equal to the sum of its parts and should be viewed as a whole. This reads like a poetic "coming of age" party, "Here I am...like it or not." I tend to like things like that. I've only done this one other time to a writer and the first piece of theirs that I've read, but this goes into my library favorites, and thank you for that! take care...dan

[Kimberlee]

Thank you Dan!

[Justin]

that was really good :) :) it tells a cutie love story :) great job :)

[Kimberlee]

Thank you!!

[Justin]

your welcome, u did a great job with the description, i was able to see it in my head :)