To wake up

I fell in love with you in a dream
Only to find you loving someone else
It wasn't a very good dream
A nightmare of sorts
But I am still in this dream
And you are still in love with her
So I will swallow this handful of tears
Because maybe I will finally be able
To wake up

Reviews

[Bree Potter]

Simple and to the point. I like it. I also appreciate your deadpan delivery in line 3. Your matter-of-factness keeps the poem from descending into a dreary sort of hyper-emotivism. I'm not sure I understand where you're going in the penultimate line, though. I think it's because I don't catch the logic that connects swallowing tears (beautiful image, by the way) with waking up. Does it have to do with drowning yourself awake? If so, I would use a different transition...something like "then maybe I will finally be able / to wake up". Or even, "then maybe I will drown myself / awake". I don't know, that's just me!

[Kirsten Kvaale]

Thank you for this! The swallowing of tears was meant to represent a regaining of reality mostly, and I greatly appreciate your help!

[Relic]

Infatuation holds a lot of weight and is not easy to release when the other person is not of the same mind. Nice poem.

[Sheila Kline]

In a dream, or not it is difficult to deal with someone you love being in love with another! It is easier at times to think it is but a dream, but not always so.

I like the lines describing the dream as being a nightmare of sorts!

[zainul]

Let this dream is not true in reality.
Let the person be in eternal love with you in real life.
I must appreciate your power of expression.