See The World Today

I want to see the world today
you want to come if not that's okay
I just want to see the world in a new way today

I want to see what the world may hold,
it's big and I feel bold today
 you want to come if not that's okay
 I just want to see the world today

I want to see the world today
and I know that their might be a price to pay
but isn't it worth it in the end if not today when
will I go when time is not my friend

Reviews

[Rob Santana]

Short and with a simple flow. Nicely done.

[K-mo]

Thank you, glad you enjoyed it

[R.O.M.E.T.S.I.]

This is very nice. I like the flow, and I can totally relate to what your saying. Great write!

[K-mo]

Thank you so much

[Jordan's Back]

i love the message in this piece, You have a wonderful way with words. just a suggestion, you make a new line in the middle of a thought makes the flow and rhythm off. may i recommend you break it up like this:

I want to see the world today
you want to come if not that's okay
I just want to see the world in a new way today

I want to see what the world may hold,
it's big and today I feel bold
if you want to come if not that's okay
I just want to see the world today

I want to see the world today
and I know that their might be a price to pay
but isn't it worth it in the end if not today
when will I go when time is not my friend

Just a reccomendation :)

[K-mo]

I am very glad you like it and your recommendations are very helpful and happily accepted:)

[Jordan's Back]

Allot of people try to be gramattically correct, but poetry has its own rules. your an awesome writer.

[K-mo]

aww thank you:) so are you

[K-mo]

it really does look a lot better that way:)

[That_Guy]

great concept

[K-mo]

thanks! glad you like it

[Sami Khalil]

I want to see the world today
a price to pay...
Nice write.