Lullaby#2

I originally uploaded it as a poem, but I always intended to put a melody to it.

Sunlight is a beautiful thing.

So lovely, it'll dazzle your eyes,

so bright, it'll hypnotise, you

won't be able to look away.

No matter what they say,

don't stop gazing to that sun.

Moonbeams...  They're beautiful.

Silverwhite, such a sight, shining

though the dark, dispersing night, you

won't be able to look away.

So no matter what they say,

at the end of the day,

dream yourself away.

Author's Note

I AM NOT A POET.
I know, I'm not a good poet. But I'm working on it, okay?

Tell me how I can improve, and I'll try. Honest.
:)

Also; it sounds MUCH better with a melody. Trust me.

Reviews

[Wordcrafter]

K E King, before I can comment: I am not a poet, just an amateur. But I love this poem, it is very visual, it is tactile, the sun's warmth, and the slipperines of a moonbeam.... it is beautiful. Must make time to read your other writing too.

[Callum Dalloway]

"Silverwhite, such a sight, shining
though the dark, dispersing night"

You knew I would love that!

Hehe, not bad, not bad at all!

[Star Catcher]

Very nice. The only thing that sort of bugs me is the fact that you start off talking about sunlight and moonlight much in the same way, by saying they're beautiful. Other than that, I really like it. I love how you cleverly aligned things, like "so bright, it'll hypnotise, you
won't be able to look away."
and then how you repeated that "though the dark, dispersing night, you
won't be able to look away."
Good work. =)