Insomnia

This is what I do when I cannot sleep.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

I wish I felt more alive.

I have counted the sheep.

I know all hundred and five by name.

Thinking of the things I have done today.

The good, the amazing and the little bit of shame.

Can't get to bed. I close my eyes.

I just see black and all my lies. 

Toss.

Turn.

Toss. 

Sigh.

Can't fall under. Don't know why.

I thought of you. The mistake I made.

Wishing that my memory would slowly fade.

I thought of my family. The things they said.

I can't get their voices out of my head.

I thought of my life. I thought of it all. 

I really wish reality would fall.

Instead I am here looking up at the 54 tiles, 

Sorting my life into little neat files.

Don't want this feeling as mine to keep.

Insomnia, the worst fate for not falling asleep.

Reviews

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

"[ ]...looking up at the 54 tiles"

Perfect way to add tension without totally spelling it out for us. I especially enjoyed that little detail. My mind raced as I read this poem. Frantic thoughts exploding all over the place like fireworks. Peace could not survive here. There just didnt seem to be enough hours in the day to tackle everything you needed to. It was almost as if you were packed in your bed like a sardine... surrounded by everything that invaded it.

[roy mccarthy]

i suffer from insomnia,so i can identify with this poem!
cool piece!

[Tom Chan]

superb and very enjoyable :)

[Hello, Goodbye]

fantastic write.. so curiously creative and with a theme that I can most definitely understand.. having worked graveyard for years, I can certainly understand the notion of insomnia.. it can be quite troubling, particularly if your mind is filled with thinking and it prevents sleeping from occurring.. great expression of this dilemma.. kudos..


'Toss.
Turn.
Toss.
Sigh.'

I can totally relate to that..

[Winslow Des Totes]

:D Terrific! I completely understand, especially the lines,
"Thinking of the things I have done today.
The good, the amazing and the little bit of shame."
"Can't fall under. Don't know why.
I thought of you. The mistake I made.
Wishing that my memory would slowly fade."
I too have been haunted by memories and when it's painted so vividly behind your eyes, you feel as though you can't escape. Excellent write! :D Great job!

[Taylor Williams]

I really enjoy the relation i have to this poem and besides that it was very well written in general. Also i like how it kind of changes focus from trying to fall asleep to thinking about the things that keep you from it

[SilentVerses]

The rhyme and rhythm shows the restlessness your bones feel, irritated and gnarled with guilt your words are suspended in the minds eye that won't let you rest your weary eyes, trying to define the reasons why the leaden weight of your tired bones won't sink into the depths of sleep, why no rest will meet you this night and there are emotions born from the turmoil of despair as you desperately search for another symptom another diagnosis otherwise their hushed whispers will be true and will take over all that you do.

[Adam Lain]

This was extremely clever. The cascading words make the counting seem drawn out, which was very nice. I have (undiagnosed) insomnia, so, I just had to read. Bravo.

[@zeewhykay]

"Instead I am here looking up at the 54 tiles,
Sorting my life into little neat files"

Wicked ! I really dig your style, this flowed extremely well. You created a very timely piece. Well played !

[Nobody.]

I know this feeling too well. Enjoyed the read.
Cheers!
R.G.