Forevermore

Rhyming Quatrains with a Rhyming Couplet envoi poem regarding thoughts of death... Grateful to Richard for finding the perfect artwork for my poem and helping me along my journey writing poetry.

   

     Forevermore....

Lie me down on a bed of lavender;

naked, I will be in the blazing sun.

Upon death, to this earth I surrender …

for, my journey here with you is now done.

Remember my laughter in ocean's waves …

floating along with no care in the world.

As we hid inside of deep dark sea caves,

our eyes met softly, as blue waters swirled.

Kissing your salty neck, I held on tight

with loving thoughts....I drift to you again,

watching day's sun disappear into night,

knowing our true love's depth would never wane.

Beyond life, to your open arms I soar;

our souls entwine now ~ and forevermore....

Author's Note

If you happen to read my poem I would so appreciate a review.
I always review.. Each line has 10 syllables.
Thank you,
Lisa

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

One of your finest works, Lisa🍷

Whoever said sadness and death have no beauty, never read this.
It was great working together with you in formulating this creatively gorgeous piece.

Many memorable blessings shared … thank you always, Ma'am! ⁓ Richard🖌

[Lisasview]

Hi Richard,
Great to get a review from you. This is one of my most favorite poems I have written.
Of course I have been thinking of you….and even more in the past couple of days.
My plan was to message you… and, and I will…
~ Lisa

[Brad Dehler]

Very lovely poem. It is a rapture of delicate delights and soft comfort; beauty surrounds. Thank you for this escapade. Then it transitions into everlasting love and intimacy. Thank you

[Lisasview]

Hi Brad,
Good to see you reviewing... This poem is actually about my death.... I woke up one morning and just wrote down my thoughts..
Glad to know you liked it.
I appreciate your thoughts,
Lisa, now in Spain

[Brad Dehler]

Wow. Another deep layer to it. Thank you

[Lisasview]

Oh I am so glad I let you know… Now if you read it again it will must likely feel different….read moreOh I am so glad I let you know… Now if you read it again it will must likely feel different….
Lisa, still feeling like I am 40!!

[Crosby Idasa]

This poem is nice and touching….

[Lisasview]

Thank you for your very kind review Crosby!
Lisa, now in Spain

[Crosby Idasa]

Nice, hope you’re enjoying the Spanish weather 😊

[Lisasview]

This is the hottest summer so far...Only been here two years...
But certainly enjoying Spain..
Lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

This poem is primarily lineated with 4-stress lines. A couple of spots may be one word two many but overall a lovely accomplishment.
W.

[Lisasview]

Please send me where there may be a word too many.
This way I can see what you mean.
Lisa

[Lisasview]

I now understand what you were thinking.. However, as I said this is a 10 syllable per line poem... no two ways about it... so I can not just take out a word here and there..
That just would not work.
lisa

[W. Barrett Munn]

You are right. A syllabic constraint means a syllabic constraint.

[Lisasview]

Yep............

[Flo_writer]

You have a way with words. I can't tell if you put a lot of thought into this or if it came easily to you. It's very well written. Doesn't rhyme but it's flows smoothly. The way ou got the imagery across speaks volumes to your talent. I enjoyed it. Thank you for the read. It was beautiful.

Also thank you for taking the time to review my work and pointing out the grammar error, lol. A lot of the poems I have probably have errors that I never went back to correct. I write so quickly with excitement I just never bother.

[Lisasview]

Hi Flo,
Thank you for reading my poem... Actually is rhymes..Did you read my authors note at the top... Rhyming quatrains, and a rhyming couplet.
So Lavender and surrender
then, sun and done
Then, waves and caves
and, world and swirled....
and so on every other line rhymes..
Not sure why you think it doesn't rhyme?
Lisa, now in Spain

[Flo_writer]

No, I missed the note above. Ahh, i see what you did. Thanks for explaining. I retract my statement, lol.

[Lisasview]

You are so funny Flo... No need to retract... I just was wondering why you felt my poem did not rhyme...
Always open to knowing why,
Lisa, now in Spain

[Perdition]

Well, first off, anyone that uses the word "envoi" in her description of the poem definitely belongs in the cafe so welcome! Now as for the poem itself, I have a long history of not particularly liking the use of colors or pictures or anything to enhance the poem itself, but today...well today is not a usual day for me and I can most definitely use some "lavender" and "ocean's wave's" so you caught me at the most perfect of perfect times. Love beyond the hand that strays this realm. Love beyond anything that worries of anything for trust or separation or our human fragilities and can last like wine so perfectly entwined at its stem with another to produce and combine. Yes! Today is most definitely a good day for love and lavender so thank you for sharing. Now in America!

[Lisasview]

What a perfect review for my little poem... I appreciate it that you took the time to read it and review it.
Color is such a huge thing in my life as I am a professional watercolorist... so adding color to my poems says a lot about me.
Hoever CRY another of my poems has no clot...but it does have an image...and, images are also so important to me...
I was from California... but moved to beautiful Spain 2 years go...I am meant to be here... Lisa

[Perdition]

You have both my entry state and some of my ancestry country going so as far as I'm concerned Hello fellow traveler..hahaha!! You're most welcome and your art is simply that, "your art" so let the colors and images fly...if it makes you as well as others smile as it did me today then even better!! That is what art is all about, cheers~

[Lisasview]

For sure and so much fun that we connected across the world..
Lisa, originally from Hollywood, Ca.

[Relic]

Top-notch writing here, Lisa. This leaves the residue of sadness and romance at the same time. You're right up there with Richard. :)

[Lisasview]

Wow, Relic..what a very wonderful thing to say!!!
So glad you liked my poem..
Nice to see you again...
Lisa, hot here in Spain

[Aura]

This is a beautiful poem capturing love found in the afterlife. Love found in life is one of a kind, but it seems to end when one dies. In this poem though, you show that love goes on even after being laid in a bed of rich scented lavender. Eventually this love will spring back to life, in another world, where two souls shall be forever entwined forevermore. Thank you for recommending this piece to me, I truly enjoyed it!

[Lisasview]

Hi Aura,
Funny because i thoughtful sure I had left you a thank you for your kind review.
read moreHi Aura,
Funny because i thoughtful sure I had left you a thank you for your kind review.
I really appreciate that you always take the time to leave such wonderful insightful reviews of my work.
Lisa, late now in Spain

[Aura]

Sometimes that happens, not to worry!! You are most welcome!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

This shows me you being reunited with a loved one in death ir in your new spirit life
You pass through fields of flowers lavender and then through your girlhood haunts of sea and caves to meet your soul mate
I love it 😻

[Lisasview]

Hi Julie,
You are so so correct!! This is about my dying and being with my soul mate again... I am so happy you understood the essence of my poem... Thank you for your kind review..
Lisa, atoll taking a break from cleaning my art room..

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

You are most welcome 🙏

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A very romantic piece that seems calculated to fit a certain syllable count. I want to read the lines without the superfluous additions seemingly deployed for that purpose. What I mean is, "for, my journey here with you is now done." Could be shortened to "for my journey with you is done" since one cannot be anywhere else other than where one is (that is "here") and the present tense suggests that the time is "now" without it being said. Sometimes less is more and showing is better than telling. When I edit my works I generally cut fat from the wording as much as possible to give greater strength to my descriptions by presenting them succinctly. Redundancies seem to devalue the original intent in my opinion. All that aside, the sentiment expressed was lovely and I enjoyed the read.

[Lisasview]

Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and for explaining your thoughts about my poem..I actually woke up one morning and just wrote this out and it pretty much is exactly as I wrote it...
I do have a tendency to personalise my writings and that I am working to stop that.
And, I do have trouble with my tenses... With absolutely no education in poetry, although I have been writing for a very long time, I am not always proficient in how I say things..This poem does have a syllable count... so you are correct in saying that I needed a word to make it work...I do go over what I write and leave out what I feel I do not need..
You are right showing is far better than telling Fabian...This poem is about my death..
I am going to see if I can change it a bit but still keep the correct amount of syllables..
Sorry, I am just rambling on... Did you read NYMPH? I think you might like it..
Lisa

[Fabian G. Franklin]

It reminded me of a passage from Song of Solomon, "Love is strong as death"....it's a wonderfully romantic notion and observation. Shall we be reunited with our loved ones, families, friends? It's my sincerest hope that it should be so. Blessings, F.

[Lisasview]

Glad you understood my poem Fabian.
Lisa, cleaning my artroom...all day job!

[Fran Marie]

A most Beautifully rendered poem
both in form and content your words
blend nicely with the chose image
also liked the ending couplet in this
lovely sonnet..very well penned

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Fran Marie for reading and reviewing and most importantly enjoying my little poem!!
Lisa, now in Spain

[Fran Marie]

you're most welcome🌷