The Stare

My first French Quatern Had fun doing this. You will see that the first line, in the first verse is repeated in the second line of the 3rd verse and so on. Eight syllables per line.

The STARE

From 'cross the room I felt his stare;

with this, I tried so not to blush.

Twink'ling green eyes beyond compare,

soft whispers filled the room with hush. 

Music began, the crowd got thick.

From 'cross the room I felt his stare.

Then, midnight's hour began to tick ...

at times like this, I dare not share. 

 

A wink, a toss of long black hair;

he lifted me close and kissed me! 

From 'cross the room I felt his stare …

laid me 'neath the secluded tree.

Loving ~ sharing hearts open wide,

feeling safe within his sweet care.

Finding feelings I could not hide …

from 'cross the room I "felt" his stare.

Reviews

[emmajoygreen]

Having overlooked the accompanying picture completely (almost!) I reached into my thoughts on your very cleverly created French Quatern - and am most impressed. To have the skill and patience to produce what is such a gently flowing yet logically put post is quite 'something', Lisa. Did it take a while to have it as you wanted but all the while keeping to the recognised form? Am so impressed at both the academic side of this French Quatern and the tale it tells too. Nice stare, by the way! Just has long phone call - excuse typos!

[Lisasview]

I always love your wonderful reviews…
Thank you so much,
Lisa

[emmajoygreen]

Always a pleasure, without reading like a wine sozzled gusher.. I always enjoy what you have to say, etc. :)

[Michael Sun Bear]

I am new to your writing. This is beautiful. The structure, the rhythm, the story told. I would have liked it better without the photo. I guess I’m too old school. Why can’t we just let our work speak for itself?

[Lisasview]

Hi Micheal,
Thank you for taking the time to read one of my many posts.Sorry you did not like the image... If you read more of mine be sure to put a piece of paper over my image as I have a feeling you might enjoy my words more. I do appreciate it that you took the time to read and review.
I think you might like my most reviewed poem... Forevermore, which is about my own death...or Innocence written in Metaphors.
All my best,
Lisasview, now in Spain

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

sorry i havent been on your page for a while. i regret it more than you. this was amazing. the repetitions and the perfect rhyme and metre had me bouncing in my seat. this romantic scene is drawn so vividly. the tension and anticipation was thrilling. while it is a tale as old as time, it was penned by an expert hand. very evocative and full of flair.

[Lisasview]

Oh my goodness, how on earth did I miss your excellent review Ern?
Please forgive my rather late response... This is one of my most favourite writes.
Thank you so much,
Lisa

[Pete]

quite mesmerizing. there can be so much hidden in a stare. great writing. the repetition of "From 'cross the room I felt his stare." is effective. well done.

favorite - "laid me 'neath the secluded tree."

[Lisasview]

I used the French Quatern poetic structure which why there are repeated lines...
Thank you so much for your review Pete...
Lisa

[estrella_juana]

A great poem I like it very much

[Lisasview]

Glad you like it!
Lisa

[estrella_juana]

my pleasure i also PM you friend have a look

[Einstein Noodle]

i love it .. well done! held to the form without trite rhymes now to rigid a rhythm .. i am inspired to (one of these days) give this form a try .. it so reminds me of my first "mixed" dance that i went to ... too nervous to stare .. but after the evening was almost over i did manage to do a slow dance with a black haired young Italian lady ... also reminds of the song and movie it came from https://youtu.be/E5dPtkVCRsg?si=1UbqDlAsG5RsSGJS i love this poem .. it's full of imaginings, hopes, innocence ... for me anyway .. so happy i stopped
E.

[Lisasview]

What a wonderful review...and isn't it even more wonderful when a poem brings back happy memories...I too remember my first dance in my first year in Jr. High School... I danced with ...oh gosh wait minute what was his name...I remember clearly what I wore...and how uncomfortable I was...
Oh gosh still can not remember..rats...
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

i would be impressed if you did remember .. i wore a suit and tie and she, as well as all the girls, wore the "Convents" prescribed dress code.. i went to a school taught by Brothers and the Convent was our alter ego ... pun intended ;)

[Lisasview]

I do remember my first dance in 7th grade. I remember the mustard stripe dress I wore that my mother bought me at Sears.. I remember the boy that asked me to slow dance, finally… Billy
And I used to remember the name of the song…. It was 1960!!
Lisa

[Einstein Noodle]

ohhhhhhhh good job darlin' !! i'm proud of you .. aren't i just like a man ... will not be able to recall her name at all but i can see her looks very well .. even now .. black hair, brown eyes, a little bit not skinny and shorter than i ... :)))))))

[Lisasview]

Wonderful!!

[Einstein Noodle]

:) ............ men are men and women are better!

[Lisasview]

Smiling😍
Lisa

[.]

Is it normal that I feel ashamed and got blushed like my secret thoughts are revealed while reading it?? It is a beautiful poem that makes you feel truly alive. I feel intoxicated by that stare.
Beren

[Lisasview]

YES, I do believe it is normal is a poem has an impact on you and for me knowing that you were moved by my poem is really wonderful.
Thank you so much for your great review,
Lisasview, now in Spain

[Chris Shaw]

Beautiful poem Lisa. How well you convey this scene and the emotions generated. This is how I met my love, a stare across a room, so thank you for the memories. My heart just skipped another beat. I do appreciate the effort put into form poetry. Hoping your health is much improved dear Lisa. 🌺

Chris

[Lisasview]

Hi Chris, so very nice to hear from you.
And, so very happy you like my poem... Interesting how a poem can bring back memories... The Stare...making your heart skip a beat...wow!!!
I am way better...thank you,
Lisa

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Lisa...I love this poem!!! It's so well crafted, so subtle in ways, and so sexy as well....Each line meets the next with such poise and flow...."at times like this I dare not share"....a great line...and all of them are!
Excellent writing!
Hope all is well!
Warmly, B

[Lisasview]

I am delighted you enjoyed my poem dearest Betty... I have a few more new ones coming...I too enjoyed writing that line...
Lisa

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Lisa… a Poem of Romantic blossoms that are Rich in Earthly Rendezvous… leaving a Trail of Petals to press in a Book .. my ♥️ Heart is throbbing. softly, Pat

[Lisasview]

Oh my goodness my dearest Pat...When I read the part that Trails of Petals to press in a book, I was blown away.
Just the other day I found my mothers little hand made flower press book.. I had seem it when I was a child but only rediscovered it. She was in England...
She pressed all sorts of flowers and in lovely handwriting wrote their names and where she found them. This was 1934 and she was 13!!! And, I too have a flower press (wood on either side) book and I have flowers in that book that I pressed in my 20's...and I will continue now to press flowers..who knows someone in the years to come will enjoy them...
But long story short I just find it so amazing that you said this in your review of my work... So this is doubley... (no such word!) appreciated!!
Hugs,
Lisa, still in Spain

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Lisa… my Mother was as lovely as a flower.. I was her only Child.. she always said I was her Rose unfolding.. I love Earthly plantings. Already this Autumn..🍂 I have Chrysanthemums in Lavender and Rose with a creamy White Pumpkin that to me represents Purity in our Terror torn World. The precious Children are my 🌹 Flowers. We need to protect them as well as the frail and elderly. You have Blessed my Morning with Generosity. softly, Pat

[Lisasview]

How sweet you are my dear friend... Love hearing from you...
Lisa

[Neville]

Read and enjoyed and with much respect .. You are much braver than me Lisa now reading and writing and reviewing again .... I would probably prefer root canal surgery than attempt anything as complex .. Neville towel drying his hair with one hand and trying to type with the other :)

[Lisasview]

Thank you so much Neville for reading and reviewing my newest post.
This post was an interesting challenge…
I enjoyed writing it..
I have 3 or 4 other new posts….
Lisa,
On my way to PT
Interesting to have a glimpse into each others lives…