Jonathan III

Written Apr. 12, 2006 - for those who have read the other Dean poems, this is another one. This was written right after our break up. It was an awful experience, a pain that has only slightly dimmed by time. Dean, Jonathan, I love you and always will.

No one can see the silent tears
That I cry in the dead of night
No one can know the battle within
As I struggle to make it alright
My brain knows he's really gone
I know that this is the truth
But my heart cries out he'll be back
This is the simple passion of a fool
My hope is somehow still here
Fight as I may it remains
I can't accept his love's retreat
Nor can I deflate this foolish faith
I lie down to sleep with tears on my cheek
And wake with fresh pain on my face
As in my mind sweet "Jonathan" repeats
And I agonize with each sound of his name
The way he laughed and how he loved
The way his sweet tender smile played
If I had known from the start
That he would so quickly walk away
I long to find comfort in some new face
Yet I turn my gaze upon the dying sun
I wait for the agony to fade
A love now over that had barely begun
I mourn the deepest for that which was young
And cry bitterly for the love that was pure
For it had not a chance to fade and grow cold
Never had I felt a love so sure
But the regrets have no place in my life
Pain of the past breaking my tomorrow
Nor will I let good-bye stand in my way
I will grow strong from the ache and the sorrow
I long so deeply to fight for his love
To pull from him the truest confession
That she never gave what I let him feel
Though his heart is her possession

Reviews

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Such raw deep emotion, I am sorry your love had to go away. I can feel your pain through your words. Sometimes the only way to move on is to smile with every good thought of him and feel lucky to have ever had it!! Some people never experience it.