Finding the way

I feel the crushing loneliness.  Constricting.
After the silence, they don’t come back.
You must learn their life, as yours is black.
My heart, it is the void.
For too long, have I been toyed.
Depression without cause,
Emptiness without pause.

They can’t hear me.
They are stepping away, too fast. Too fast.

I can not catch them.
My ears can hear them, but I am voiceless.
I am their sins, coated with bitterness.
My hand upon my chest feels a distant echo,
Until the pain builds like a dramatic crescendo.
I can feel my thoughts, I am drowning.

But then I feel the hand guide me.
I am not alone. I am just speaking too quietly.

Reviews

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

I definitely could have related to this poem a very, very long time ago, and the fact that this poem was able to remind me of my past and become so relatable to it is astonishing. Excellent work.

"Depression without cause,
Emptiness without pause."
And Yet again, another amazing quote that I love!

[Luke Rawlings]

My quotes do seem popular :') I am glad you found it relatable and I am even more glad that you are better now. Thank you for the review :)

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

Thanks for the kind words, and Your welcome for the review.

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you and you're welcome too! All these manners :3

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

Yeah, half the time I'm usually saying "Thanks for the review" or "Your Welcome" all the time on Writerscafe.

[Jo Todd]

This poem actually makes me think of someone who is shy and lonely will low confidence. As though they struggle to make friends and connect with people. Especially with the lines "they can't hear me" and "I am just speaking too quietly" something that I find quite indicative of shy people who do not raise their voices for fear of drawing too much attention to themselves. The ending feels to me as though the person is realising that they can speak up and that they were only lonely because they weren’t letting themselves be heard.

[Luke Rawlings]

A very accurate description and pretty much what I was aiming for haha. Thank you! :D

[Barbara Kasey Smith]

This is a powerful poem displaying a sincere feeling that has swallowed up a person's life. The agony of depression has left them in a state of darkness and without any feelings - numb to anymore hurt. The repeating of this state of mind is controlling and owns the mind & soul. The person knows there is a greater being lending a helping hand to guide them when they're trouble, allowing them to know they're not alone.

This poem left this reader desiring to offer words of kindness and love to a soul hurting. Blessings, Barbara Kasey Smith

[Luke Rawlings]

A very good grasp of what I was communicating. You are again very poetic. I shall be reading more of your writing. Blessings to you also, and thank you.

[R E Tree]

The poem is very deep and the words create imagery of imprisonment especially in the first stanza. I can feel the sense of struggle coming from the writer but I just get this feeling that something is suppose to be there but it isn't. I think its lack of expression. This poem is written differently compared to your other ones. The use of words are more dramatic and the structure of the poem looks quite complex for this kind of writing.

I think in this line " But then I feel the hand guide me" instead of feel i think its suppose to be felt. I actually admire the last stanza because I think it holds a lot of honesty.

[Luke Rawlings]

Thank you, it is designed to be a sense of imprisonment and something missing, so well deduced. You give really good reviews :D

[R E Tree]

Yeah I get better with practice. This site tells me I've done 715 reviews since I joined which was 3 years ago. I would have done more if I had decided to have a shorter break from the site.