Indecent Darkness

I wrote this from a program I downloaded called "digital poetry playbox".

I won’t look back…

   at all my goodbyes

When others forsake us

   what can we do?

 

I connect the dots of why, where and when

   all those feelings…

overlooking the nothingness

   of buried anger and soap opera emotions

In my moody loneliness

   I pretend I’m the boss of my life

 

   But...

 

This isn’t what I wanted

    I feel infected by the failing of it all

My non-acceptance of the rules..

    Refusing to walk the yellow, brick road

    Now…

 

I’m walking down a gravel road

   trying to explain self-pity

There were many words

   spoken in anger, hate

It’s raining in my land of torment

 

    Once upon a time...

 

On a warm night in Idaho

    I found sweet love

behind a small piece of Heaven...

    in Pocatello
 

Today my heart is trying to start

    something new...

Yet, all I see is turned away eyes!

    "What"? I say to myself?

"Does my face have a look"?

Instead of the highest mountain

   I’ll settle for a hill

Striking a balance

   once all is said and left undone

 

    Until then...

 

I’ll kill my time in the meadow

    trying to nail it all down

between the drops of rain

    and wet, transient thoughts

 

I notice all my incomplete commitments

    as I cope with trashy envy

of all the other couples

    walking hand in hand

The sky is full

    of unaccounted angels

and all the wear and tear of life

    still lingers wistfully in the air

 

I cannot seem to set sail again

   I’m like a wilted daffodil

In a world gone haywire

   of indecent darkness and hell

                             

                                 
      And all I can do is ask...

 

"Is this all there is"?

     "Will I ever bloom again"?

                 
                   
___________________________________________________________________________

LadeeAnne~Anne P Murray

 

Author's Note

I literally created this poem from a program I downloaded called:
"Digital Poetry Play box"
'I wrote this from a program I downloaded called "digital poetry playbox". Funny how it works on your brain, because It really evoked my own true emotions. Feelings I had that for some reason or another, I wasn't able somehow to bring out on my own. It's like it came from my heart, mind & soul.

Words, sentences & stanzas pop up' randomly and it's up to you (me) to either ignore them or use them... composing your own poem as you go along. It was great fun...very interesting to work with. This is the link in case you would like to try it
http://foundpoem.com/

Reviews

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Wonderful Imagination it sails to the silent LAKE WITHOUT WAVES anybody can spent there a long long time with the cooly mon night, very nice work.

[Tom Benson]

In my opinion my Anne my friend, you are blooming right now with your writing. Whether you used a play box or it all came from your muse, it works very well. I occasionally write a piece from deep within and I find it really satisfying.
I'm pleased you had a go at this particular program because I reckon it can only strengthen your confidence.

[Shayla Sayer]

amazing, i loved the imagery of the yellow brick road vs the gravel road. it set quite a bit of thoughts in motion within my mind...

[Forest Green]

Nicely done...sounds like a great idea for poetry development, too.

The daffodil metaphor was perfect...

[Marie Harrison]

Ah...I'm sure you will bloom many times over just once more.
I love your poem. I felt the deep emotions and yearning
in each line. But new experiences are around the bend.
It can be just as lonely with a partner as it is being alone.
Nice.

[Chris]

Anne,

Many cascading thought flows -
yours as I read, mine as they intertwine.

Chris

[grayhaven]

What a very thought provocing poem. I like this part..."In my moody loneliness
I pretend I’m the boss of my life" I love it. Thank you for this poem Anne. Also the last two questions. The one each of us has asked, Is this all there is?