cross-Eyed love

i do not know how it began -
only that one morning
the kookaburra sang sideways
and you looked up from the grass
with eyes that refused to agree.

one eye held the sun,
and the other a shadow of cloud
passing over the pond.
between them i stood:
a heron startled mid-wade.

love, i thought,
should be a straight path
through the pines.
but here it was -
a zigzag of light across the water,
a dragonfly drunk on distance.

you blinked, and the world tilted.
a beetle rolled off a blade of grass and
my heart followed,
tumbling into the soft mud
where the irises grow crooked.

i have spent years trying to walk upright.
now I practice leaning -
shoulder to your shoulder,
breath to your uneven breath;
learning the grace of the off-kilter.

at dusk you point to a star
that isn’t there for anyone else.
i see it anyway...
a small fire burning
in the wrong corner of sky.

tell me,
what is perfect but a kind of death?

let the others keep their mirrors and
let us keep this wild refraction -
two pupils, one love,
forever arriving a little beside the point.

Author's Note

we all know the straightness of corkscrew, inspite of how it may look...

Reviews

[---]

I, admittedly, read this a few days ago and wasn't sure whether to leave a comment. I think I assumed that it would inevitably be flooded with flattery, and therefore any positive reinforcement I might leave would be redundant. (This is a common pattern for female writers, here, who are both talented and appear beautiful in their thumbnail).

I'm not sure if I'm disappointed, or not, to see that hasn't happened. But given that it hasn't I thought I'd leave some words.

High, high quality of work - you've got excellent syntax, excellent delivery, thoughtful imagery and a smiling theme. I wouldn't change a thing, and have no criticism to that end.

That said, if it's of any reassurance, the basis to which writers receive recognition, a least here, is built upon how often they review others. This generally looks like flattery, which is traded, and is not necessarily thoughtful or true.

I've nothing but disdain for people who do this, but once you've received enough positive reviews you make the Writing Page and are generally reviewed, thereafter, by the public (whomever should be casually using the website).

Talent, profundity or quality of work aren't the metric (all of which you have) as unfortunate as it is to say, clicks are.

I wanted to pass that along, in the event you were feeling discouraged by how few have commented so far.

I was genuinely struck by your skill, and am of the opinion that were we living in an era where poetry was both celebrated for its quality and rewarded through sale (it is not, anymore) it's likely that you'd easily turn a profit given your ability.

Wish you luck, and sincerely hope to see more.

[Lara]

Thank you, O.
I appreciate you. 🙏

[Dale Pavolko]

This is a near-perfect poem. It is delicate without fragility, strange without gimmick, and deeply romantic without ever saying “I love you” in plain English. The central conceit (strabismus as the truest metaphor for love) is fresh, risky, and completely earned. By the end the reader feels they have been shown a secret law of physics: love is not alignment; love is productive misalignment.


What could be even tighter (very small quibbles)
1. The stanza “i searched the pockets of my coats…” is the only place the momentum softens. It’s lovely, but it’s the one moment that feels like a list instead of a discovery. Trimming even one line would keep the air moving.
2. “aswell” (one word) is a typo that jars. “As well” or just drop the comma and let it breathe.

[emmajoygreen]

'at dusk you point to a star
that isn’t there for anyone else.
i see it anyway...
a small fire burning
in the wrong corner of sky.'

and that, my friend, is true love! Fine writing, as always!

[Lorry]

I was all set to say something and then read the authors note which made whatever thought I had fly from me as the corkscrew thought took over.
In my youth we used to holiday in Blackpool in England and they had a roller-coaster called the corkscrew and I used to think while on that, getting thrown around hither and thither, that from a distance it must look just like a two dimensional straight line. So between your authors note and the memory of that roller-coaster it has now taken on the thought that even life and love must seem like that same straight line from a distance, despite it looking feeling like that roller-coaster of avenues whilst in it.
Can even twi people with perfect vision see exactly the same thing in exactly the same way. I mean, sometimes one can be laying on their elbows on the grass while the other is laying flat on their back, squinting and disagreeing with the sun in their eyes. Other times, life and love feel almost synchronised - which is usually at the beginning, before life gets too loud and distracting and love takes on the role of the distracted observer.
So, in summation... I forgot what I was gonna say, but liked what you had to say about what you wrote about.
Oh, anf it is almost 2am here and I haven't had my coffee, so if you find any sense in what I've said, please seek medical help immediately! 😆

[Lara]

Perfectly understood, lorry 🫡✨️
God bless morning coffee, too!

[Einstein Noodle]

i love the "off kilter" !! very original theme, says i! being a bit unbalanced keeps me thinking and the blood flowing ... i don't know if i would want to make such a place an always thing .. but hey ... we are incredibly adaptive ... challenging and thought provoking read for me Ms. Lara
E.

[Lara]

We rise with everybreath, E. Only for the lungs to fall each time.
And what is each step in our walk but a series of controlled tumbling?
Grace may have paved the way through more moments than we imagined... ✨️
Warm thoughts your way 🙏

[Einstein Noodle]

"controlled tumbling" .. so wonderful!! i remember reading about how we walk and run ... we first lean forward to create our "off kilter" .. we keep leaning and our legs have to keep up ... it is still a humorous scene to imagine ... applied to life's walk ... and more Grace than we imagined ... i am taking all that with me today Lara ... thanks for sharing

[Vol]

Lara
There you go again, doing what we all try to do, say something important in a brand-new way... What a delightful string of images straight out of a carnival magic mirror. Fun, fun, fun, new insight into the most dangerous of realms!
Vol

[Lara]

It is fun (when it lands), Vol 🙂
Thank you, and God bless.

[Vol]

Thank you and back at you!

[Buddhistboy73]

mm...an interesting write on love here.....

I loved the opening;

i do not know how it began -
only that one morning
the kookaburra sang sideways
and you looked up from the grass
with eyes that refused to agree.

This poem stands out for me, with so many great lines....

tenderly written and emotionally mature.....

Thanks for sharing...:)

BB73

[Lara]

Hi bb.
And thank you for your kind words🙏
Credit to one of my favourite poets, Mary Oliver, on this - in whose style I rode a coat-tail

[Buddhistboy73]

Ah ok. I haven't heard of her...maybe I'll check out some of her work.....thanks

[Thomas W Case]

Powerful work, Lara. Excellent.