Childhood Memories

Several years ago, I prayed about a relationship I had with my troubled sister. God answered me in a surprising way, showing me I needed to walk away.

Childhood memories

I rarely reflect

Fear the common denominator.

I was afraid then

Now I’m afraid to remember.

You weren’t a good friend or mentor.

Drama your chosen pleasure.

Your drama became my nightmare.

A childhood ruined by a sadistic sister.

Your motivation a tangled web of 

Lies, schemes and manipulation.

A web you wove so well.

Invisible to most,

Nearly impossible to escape.

I finally discovered that God gave me wings,

And broke free from your terrible web.

And once I flew away,

I discovered so much beauty.

The flowers of life

I never knew existed.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

Even though you found a solution, it seems bittersweet to me. I say that because of things that happened in my own family. Maybe there's no redemption for your sister, but I hope that will change in time. People can change--I've seen it. Of course I don't know the details, so please forgive me if I'm way off course.

[LisaCarol]

Thank you for your comments and reviewing my writing. My sister is an alcoholic that has chosen to keep drinking. Several years ago I prayed for her, and a few days later she requested that I never speak to her again. I have honored her request. At first I was hurt, but soon found a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders that had tormented me for years. I believe events happen for a reason and writing helps me sort it out.

[petec3638]

This reads as if youhave been following me along the way

BUT we survived and managed to rise above it all

[petec3638]

Now I’m afraid to remember.
DO you get nightmares retuning, when you think everything is getting better

How can we stop them?
I would love to know

[LisaCarol]

Thank you for reading and providing your comments. For me, I found childhood trauma is usually suppressed because young brains haven’t completely developed. Once you acknowledge the trauma and talk about it as an adult, you come to terms with it and move on. It is important to talk it over with someone you trust and cares about you. That was the message I tried to convey in this piece.

[Chris Shaw]

Sometimes for our own sanity we have to distance ourselves from people closest to us. It is a terrible wrench and it can cause much pain, but it is necessary for survival. I understand this poem perfectly. You have composed this poem beautifully. Freedom to live your life without the oppression coming from elsewhere. Stay free and happy.

Chris

[LisaCarol]

Thank you so much for your kind words and reviewing my writing.

[DIVYA]

This poem is such a powerful message of hope and freedom - no matter how difficult the circumstances. Our wings are always waiting for us to gather the courage and to embrace them. You speak from a place of strength and experience and become such a beacon of hope for others who are struggling with dark situations in their own life. May your words give them light too. Thank you for this beautiful poem.

[LisaCarol]

Thank you so much for you kind words and reviewing my writing.

[Lorry]

Walking away from any family member is tough, and I do know how tough it is because I walked away from all my remaining family after my parents passed.
I completely understand about the drama sister too. Mines always sought out attention and thinks everyone loves her and thinks she is amazing, when reality shows everyone is terrified her because of her mental illness and addiction to drink and prescribed drugs.
I realised that there was no point trying anymore and she would continue oblivious to everyone else anyway, so I moved away to a more rural part of Scotland and haven't spoken to them since i moved in 2017.
My crime was looking after my mum for 4 years with no help at all, despite also working full time and when my mum, who had dementia failed to recognise me, they had to take over and could no longer pretend she was fine.
Within a week she was put in a nursing home and they barely noticed her until she passed, where they all became greedy vultures once more.
Families can be wonderful, but they can also be a curse.
Keep seeing beauty in your life. It is more important than people give it credit for.

[LisaCarol]

Thanks Lorry for your message. For the longest time, I thought I “had” to have a relationship with my family, especially my siblings. I can’t tell you how many times I just ignored the awful, cruel acts my sister did to others and to me. My sister is an alcoholic that refuses to quit drinking. A few years ago I spent an awful week with her and decided to pray, asking God for guidance. A few days later, my sister sent me a text message telling me to never speak to her or her daughter (my adult niece) ever again. I honored those wishes. Walking away from my sister and niece was hard, but it has removed a huge weight that I’ve carried for years. I’m not a particularly religious person, but believe in a higher power. When I’ve asked for help, that power has always guided me.

My niece and I recently reconciled. I wrote this poem quite a while ago and didn’t plan to share it. However, when my niece told me her mother was a burden, I shared the poem with her. It provided my niece with a lot of clarity. So I decided to post it, hoping it could help others too.

I believe some people are just evil or have serious mental issues and you will never fix them. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced a similar situation. My mother also had dementia (Alzheimer’s) and this sister would chew my Mom out just to make her cry.

I applaud you for having the strength to care for your Mum and then having the courage to walk away from the drama. You are obviously a person with great compassion. The kind of person I like.