Revelation

I should have felt empowered and absolutely thrilled when I woke up. However, in the sun’s bathing glare, I felt lost amongst my bed sheets. I felt numb even though my fingers twitched with movement, yet the rest of my body felt weighed down. Nothing wanted to move, and I didn’t really push for my body to do otherwise. In fact, I just wanted to lie there in the comforts of my pillows and sheets.

 

In spite of what I wanted, I could hear the footsteps of someone coming up the stairs. I knew their intention, and it wasn’t to tuck me in under covers or bring me breakfast in bed. The door handle jiggled slightly, and I realized, with sudden reprieve that I had locked the door when I had entered my room last night. As hasty as my relief had come, the unfortunate occurrence of persistency came at the door knobs jiggling handle; as if it would magically open on its own. Yet, that didn’t happen, and so the person behind my door slammed their fists against it, and called my name.

 

I found no surprise coming from me when the authoritative voice of Hunter boomed from behind my door. Even with his ever-so daunting yell, I made no move towards the door. Truthfully, the only movement I made was closing my eyes shut in hopes of tuning out the thunderous voice of Hunter who was consistently yelling at me. It wasn’t until he stopped that I was able to open my eyes again. Although, I knew that this wouldn’t be the end of Hunter’s rampage. Conversely, I also knew that no simple, locked doorknob would stop Hunter from getting in. He’s picked the lock of my door many times. I merely wanted to give him an obstacle to overcome before he could batter me with what he had to say.

 

It was in due time that Hunter opened the door, and I sat there comfortably amongst my blankets, facing him with my eyes open. Hunter was furious; nevertheless, I had the urge to laugh at this white man’s reddened face, and veins popping out from his neck, but a pain ached in my heart before I could. I recoiled, my smile concealing itself beneath the bed sheets.

 

With anger glinting in Hunter’s eyes, he lifted his hand and pointed the small screwdriver at me, which he had used to unlock my door. “Were you up this entire time?” He hissed, with a sour note lasting in the atmosphere. I knew mocking him would only add to the fire, but I was angry, and above all, I was hurting.

 

“Of course I was.” The air between us was filled with friction. In this instance, I could feel the palms of my hands begin sweating, but I stilled beckoned for a fight.

 

“Why the hell didn’t you answer?!”

 

I shrugged my shoulders in response to his question. There was no use in answering. I knew it would get him angrier if I didn’t, which is why I took his questions in silence. It angered him that his threatening presence didn’t affect me, or at least affect me in ways he could not see.

 

Suddenly, he did something that I didn’t quite expect. The hostility in the air went from one-hundred to zero in seconds. There was something like humor in his eyes, as if they were laughing at me. A sweet sugar-coated smile replaced his taught jaw. All this changed in mere seconds, and I blushed with embarrassment. The humility he was unveiling made me understand exactly what he was being so benevolent about. At first, I was rather confused, but now I was the one being teased. I was now in Hunter’s position. He turned the tables on me, and now I was cornered.

 

“Oh, it’s alright Odessa.” He chuckled. He flipped the screwdriver in the air and caught it. He watched as he did this, and he smiled nastily. “I’m a guy, and I know how guys think. Don’t worry, your mom told me everything, so there’s no need to explain why you’re being so ignorant today. I understand your hurting, but maybe he was too good for you? Maybe you couldn’t meet his standards, hm?”

 

There was nothing worse than hearing this from Hunter. Initially he may have not used this against me, but since I was picking a fight, he wanted to hit me right back. He realized that in order to tame me he would use everything at his grasp in order to throw it at my face. I wouldn’t be surprised if he mocked me all day. Still, I felt the tears prick at my eyes, and before they could fill with them, I sat up throwing the blankets off of me and strode up towards him. It was noticeable that he towered over at me, but in that instance he eyes widened. He didn’t realize what kind of effect his teasing could have on me.

 

“I am so sick of you thinking you can push me around. Are you so great? Are you so bold because you walked into the army and came out alive? Oh, no. You’re not even close.” I swallowed hard. “Do you see this girl standing in front of you? This is the face of pain and agony. This is the face of a girl that had to live with your malice and spite throughout most of my life. Don’t act like you’re the bigger man when you’ve dropped to my level. I’m nothing like that woman who kisses the ground you walk on.” I pointed outside my door. “I’m not my mom, and you better realize that now. I’m not bending to your will, and I most certainly will never break under the pressure of your stupidity.”

 

“Odessa!” He roared.

 

“Shut up!” I snapped back, screaming in his direction. He seemed relatively surprised, and with glaring eyes he laced his mouth shut. From downstairs I could hear my mother’s quick footsteps.

 

“What’s going on?” I heard her call, and I stepped away from Hunter. I sat quietly on my bed, waiting for the scolding I would get from her. When she entered she immediately looked at Hunter. “What’s happening?” I nearly broke out with a sob. The person she turns to and the person she trust the most was that man. As much as I loved my mom, I could almost say I hated her in that moment.

 

Hunter looked at me before he turned and gently took my mother’s shoulders. “We’ll talk about it during breakfast.” He murmured in her ear, and they both exited out of my room. I fell back on my bed, and placed an arm over my eyes. The tears began to poor out again, and I couldn’t understand how I could still cry like I was doing. I didn’t think I had enough water in me to cry again, but still there they were; the devils that come from pain and sadness. Desperately, I wish I could be stronger.

 

“Are you okay Odessa?” I clamped my mouth shut, and ran my arm over my eyes trying to remove any stray tears or streaks that they may have left behind.

 

“Fine,” I muttered sarcastically towards Natalia. She was leaning in the doorway, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“You sure got it from Dad, huh?” She snickered.

 

I grit my teeth. “Are you going to start too?” I hissed, got up, and approached her. She uneasily backed away from my doorway, as if I might hit her. “You’re just like Hunter: a small, little girl.” I slammed the door in her face.  My actions would probably be costly, or more than likely to become part of a bigger problem, but in my moment of fury I didn’t quite care. I didn’t want to sit in my room and cry any more than I had to. I needed to do something, anything that might take my mind off the problems at home and the problem that I had yesterday. It was impossible to think in my room when there were so many things going on downstairs. So much began running through my head, I did my things in a hurry. I fed my little bird in his cage, and threw on some jogging pants and a sweatshirt while placing my hair up into a high ponytail. Before I left, I stuffed my wallet in my oversized pocket of my jogging pants.

 

I made sure I was quiet when I moved down the stairs. Careful not to step on any squeaky steps on the stairs, I made it out safely. For the most part, it had been pretty quiet downstairs, except for Hunter talking to my mother about me. The thing that stood out most prominently was him saying that there needed to be something done. It didn’t take a genius to realize that their hushed whispers were about me. I could only imagine the horrid things that would end up coming from their mouth.

 

I knew they were trying to think of ways to punish me, but there were none that could be so horrible. The worst I would imagine them doing was grounding me, but that would be no punishment for me. I was out of High School, there wasn’t much else they could do to punish me that would harm me, or upset me in anyway. Kicking me out of the house was optional, but even as much as my mom appreciated Hunter’s advice more than mine, she wouldn’t allow that. Especially since I had no family members, hat I knew of, currently living in the residences of California.

 

My tennis shoes lightly scuffed against the cement, while my head craned upward towards the clear sky. I was mildly surprised to see the vast amounts of clouds piling on upon one another. Its darkened tint led me to believe that I wouldn’t be out longer than what I had planned. Unfortunately, I would have to go back towards the house I dreaded to return to. Maybe not dreaded, but I most certainly didn’t want to return early. They were bound to spring on me new ways of torment if Hunter was involved in trying to edge me forward to insanity. In my mind I knew this was only a game that Hunter played based on my stubbornness, but I couldn’t let someone like him win. That wasn’t how I wanted things to be. I wouldn’t have cared if he had been reprimanding in a way where he actually cared and worked for the family as a whole, but what he only worked for was the safety and security of his wife and his blood-related daughter. I was nothing of the sort.

 

Suddenly shaking me out of my thoughts were the loud drumming and thumping of a bass pumped stereo shaking a red Cadillac on its way towards the gas station I was heading towards. I didn’t think twice about it until I reached it and saw three men “bumping fists”, as most would call it. All of their pants were hanging at their ankles, and their oversized shirts didn’t do them any good as their boxers played ‘peek-a-boo’ from under their dangling pants. I hesitated in front of the pump of the gas station contemplating on whether or not I should wait until they left or walk past them.

 

The latter decision would probably prevent me from acting as if I were opposed to them, but still, I remained there standing in place as they punched one another and laughed obnoxiously loud while their stereo still blasted in their car. I anxiously watched them from the gas pump, and hid whenever they looked in my direction. The black males were poking fun at their friend who seemed to be of Mexican heritage as opposed to the other two men.

 

“�"rale vato!” I squeezed my eyes tight as the yells came from behind me. I shuddered and stayed tight, while I ran my fingers over the gas pump as if I was examining it in hopes that I could pull it off as a worker at the gas station. Luckily without much of a look, they brushed passed me to join their friends who had resumed sitting on the hood of the car. I leaned my head against the cool metal of the foundation that held up the canopy to the Shell station. One of the black males turned to look in my direction, and I froze, staring back at him. He grinned slightly, while he nudged his friend. It was a ripple effect afterwards. As soon as two heads turned, so did the rest. All the noise that was left was that of the shuddering car’s speakers.

 

“Que pasa chiquita?” The same guy that had yelled out towards his friends before waved at me. He ran his fingers through what little hair he had and turned to look at his other four friends for help.

 

One of the darker men spoke up and motioned me to go over towards them. “C’mon! Don’t be scared.” He grinned and continued to beckon. He winked at one of his friends, and I could imagine him saying, ‘See, this is how you do it.’ Unfortunately, even with that in mind, my feet moved forward. My steps were weighted and heavy. I had a tendency of doing as I was told. A pushover, as Orlando called me. Not that he minded. Not that anybody minded, but I did. I tried working on it, but things never seemed to turn out that way. It frustrated me in more ways than one.

 

“There you are...” the Mexican male crooned next to his black friend, leaning forward eying me. I shifted uneasily on my feet and stuck my hands in my pockets when I felt the urge to run around like a chicken with no head.

 

I chewed on my lip uneasily, and looked up at them. “Uh, is there something you want?”

 

All of them burst into laughter and I jumped, my eyes widening. “Ay, esta chica!” The same Mexican guy, who had earlier spoken, pointed at me while his eyes were nearly tearing.

 

“Cool it with the Spanish, man. Can’t understand that, y’know.” The black friend standing next to him shoved the Mexican male slightly. This only brought more laughter, and I stood there uneasily. My hands were shaking then, and I wondered if they would follow me if I were to run inside of the Shell station. If they did, the cashier might be able to protect me. My feet barely moved, while they were laughing, and when I was sure they weren’t paying attention me, I took off into the station.

 

“Hey!” One of the guys yelled from behind me, but I couldn’t tell from which direction. I just kept running for the doors, where I knew I would probably be a lot safer from the guys that wanted who knows what. When I was inside, the cashier lazily looked at me and returned back to popping her gum and texting. I watched her for a second, wondering if she was going to say something, but shrugged when she didn’t and went back towards the freezer doors. When I arrived, I could feel my taste buds tingling with excitement.

 

It had been nearly twenty-four hours since I had last had a coke, and I could practically taste the sugar exploding in my mouth. This sugar filled drink that had nearly as much calories as a piece of chocolate was more like my creature comfort. Something much like a drug�"no pun intended. Still, even knowing that this thing was unhealthy, I packed about five of these large plastic bottles in my arms before turning towards the cash register. Maybe I would have been embarrassed for bringing five of these bottles of these to the cashier, but the little interest that girl behind the cash register didn’t allow me to care much. What I really worried about was going back outside. From where I was standing they had all turned their attention back to each other. Other people were beginning to fill up the gas pumps, as well as pulling in to come into the corner store.

 

The girl cleared her throat, “$6.35.”

 

“Huh?” I asked wide eyes as I drew my attention back to the girl.

 

She rolled her eyes and popped her gum. “That’s how much it is. It’s $6.35.”

 

“Oh,” I mumbled softly, “Sorry.” I dug through my pocket and pulled out my wallet retrieving the exact amount, and left with an open coke bottle in my hand, while the rest of the unopened drinks were hitting my leg as I walked out. Fortunately, as I left, I was allowed to go unnoticed and escaped without much of a glance. The dark clouds had only gotten darker, and every few minutes I could feel a slight sprinkle drop on me. Still, I didn’t worry. I took my time getting back home. Weaving in and out of other streets, and circling around blocks, I found that I had gotten through nearly three of my cokes.

 

“Oh darn.” I muttered as I got to the front of the house, and I noticed that the door was cracked open. I looked at the lawn then where I saw Natalia’s cat licking her paws. My stomach dropped suddenly, and as I walked towards the front I heard someone scurry away from the door and run into the kitchen.

 

“She’s here!” I heard Natalia’s voice hiss. She sounded hysterical. I bit my lip and hesitantly reached forward for the door knob. I was indecisive about opening the door, and so I waited there with my hand outstretched for the door knob and my eyes fixated on the handle. What was happening? I was nervous. Was there some awful news waiting for me behind the door? Surely it couldn’t have been that bad....right?

 

My hand grasped the handle and all it took was a push to open it fully. A scream lodged itself in my throat and I felt the coke slip from my fingertips.

 

“My carpet!” I heard my mother yell, whining when she saw that coke splattering on her floors. My foot stepped over the coke can, while I left the bag of the rest behind.

 

“Ah...” I cringed and dropped to my knees. There was nothing coming out of my mouth, but the tears were surely coming. They were falling rapidly when my fingers touched the bright yellow colored feathers scattered on the floor. “No...” I sobbed. My head lifted and I saw Natalia and she was hiding behind Hunter. My face was burning with anger, yet my tears provided a different emotion. So, when I got up from my knees, I don’t think they expected what I did next.

 

“What did I tell you about going into my room?!” I screamed and pointed an accusing finger at Natalia, who recoiled further behind Hunter.

 

My mother took me by the shoulder, “Odessa, calm down, it’s just a bird.”

 

“Just a bird?” I screeched. “You wouldn’t say the same thing if I ran that stupid cat that ate my bird over with the car, now would you?” I yelled shaking off her hand.

 

“You wouldn’t!” Natalia yelled.

 

“You want to bet?” I snapped.

 

“Odessa!” My mom scolded.

 

My eyes immediately switched to the whimsy smile of Hunter. “Look at him mom!” I pointed at him, and Hunter’s eyes widened. He knew he had gotten caught. “Look how he’s smiling at all this! Instead of trying to calm any of us down, he stands there like he’s the king of the world!”

 

“Odessa, don’t you dare start bringing Hunter into any of this!”

 

“Oh My God,” I yelled, “Are you freaking kidding me? You’re still standing up for him even after it’s so obvious that he’s enjoying this? Are you really that blind to the kind of sick enjoyment he gets out of this?” I was glaring at my mom, my eyes filling up with tears. I had no response from her. She was stationed steady, like a robot trained to do so. Her hands were balling by her side, and her jaw was strained, but she didn’t say a word. I shook my head in disappointment and ran over towards the stairs to run up to my room.

 

The pain didn’t end there. The cage that had been dangling from my ceiling was thrown on the floor. My little yellow bird’s food and feathers were spilt on the floor and my eyes watered more. I sat there for a good hour crying over what had already been gone. Of everything that happened, from yesterday and from today. I hated it all, but there was a nagging feeling that took over me, and it caused me to feel guilty above all else. It sat there ticking within the bit of my stomach. It had me on end, and it was making my heart beat frantic with edginess.

 

With that, not being able to take it anymore, I stood up and quietly walked outside the door. Natalia was sitting with Hunter on the couch watching a basketball game, and I could hear my mom talking somewhat quietly. I couldn’t understand what she was saying behind all the noise that was coming from the TV. Slowly, I entered the kitchen to see my mom sitting at one of the barstools toggling with the laptop that was set in the kitchen.

 

“Yeah. In a week. Be ready.” Without a goodbye she set the phone down ands sighed placing her hands over her face.

 

“Mom?” I spoke gently, and she looked over her shoulder. There was something in her face that held anger, but moreover something that I hadn’t seen before: guilt. I looked away feeling the urge to cry. It’s true I should have been more level-headedness at the time, and I felt terrible about not being that way. “I’m sorry.” I muttered out, but she held up her hand.

 

“Don’t say that. I don’t want your sorry.” That stung at me; in fact it was eating at me. “I’ve put up with a lot of your crap you’ve been giving since the beginning of your high school years, but this has gone overboard Odessa.” Her voice was shaking, but her eyes remained focused on the screen. I looked over her shoulder to catch the brief words of American Airlines at the top of the page. My heart stopped. Were they leaving on vacation without me? Not that I could really do anything about that. I could understand that. I deserved that. Yet, it still hurt, and I wish it didn’t.

 

“I one week.” She spoke softly, and turned to face me.

 

“What?” I laughed nervously, feeling a loss for words.

 

“You have a week to start getting your things packed.”

 

My eyes widened. “W-why?”

 

“In one week, you are going with your father.” With that, she got up from the barstool, and walked passed me without another word.