Shame

Lost in all the regret,

never able to forget.

Lost in all the guilt,

hiding behind the wall of solitude I've built.

Lost in all the shame,

evil does have a name.

Trying to comfort myself with lies,

but the truth, I cannot deny.

Loathe, rage, and embarrassment,

looking into a mirror, I see who I resent.

The opposite of who I used to be is who I've become,

every emotion I once had has escaped, I'm numb.

These demonic thoughts just won't fade,

not with tears, not with screams, not with a blade.

I can't seem to grasp the ability to heal,

the opening to freedom has been sealed.

It's too difficult to break through this vision's hold,

coiled in its cryptic hands, so tormenting and cold.

This tainted memory has my mind enslaved,

this gloomy memory that I'll take to my grave.

For years, I've kept this secret locked inside,

this stirring secret that I must eternally hide.