In My Nature

I can't afford to let down my guard,

getting close to someone is too hard.

I can't reopen the window shielding my tattered heart,

I've learned no to repeat the mistakes that tore me apart.

It's in my nature not to give out my trust again,

I know I will be abandoned in the end.

It's easier to be on my own,

no one can hurt you when you're alone.

My heart is severely strained,

I feel so emotionally drained.

It's in my nature not to let anyone in,

by opening that doorway, I'm letting them win.

I'm scared of being abandoned,

everyone I've gotten close to has left me stranded.

I'm so sick of sobbing as tears fall to the floor,

because my judgment of people is very poor.

It's in my nature not to feel love,

misery gave me a reason to give up.

I'm so tired of going through this,

I'm so tired of adding scars to my wrists.

All I need is a break,

 a rest from my mistakes.

It's in my nature to put this relationship to a halt,

because my naive judgment is my one fault.