Deep Goddess (an unfinished piece)

Thought I'd post this for some feedback. See notes below for more info.

Deep Goddess

 

 

Fear rolled down her face

At what she saw;

    At what she did.

Her arms stretched out above

Facing the moon;

    Pulling it down,

To hold it in her hands.

How she caressed the night

    And peered right through it.

I fell upon my knees

In silent prayer,

    But she still caught the sound.

 

Legion

(date unknown)

Author's Note

Found this among some very, very old stuff of mine. It caught my attention, but for the life of me I can't remember where this was going. Don't remember if it was going to be a song or just a poem or perhaps part of something bigger. I like it, but am not sure what else to do with it for nothing seems to come to mind. If anyone has any suggestions for the continuation of it, I'm all ears. That or you can add to it yourself and be co-author.

Reviews

[Brianna Brie]

She continued to worship,
As I pleaded to heaven,
For my wife to keep.
With tortured regret,
I watched as she stroked,
This glowing orb.
I wanted to be once more,
The only moonbeam,
Of my Goddess Deep.

Missed the contest, but non the less I was inspired to add to your intriguing write.

[Gaiamethod]

This sounds very interesting. Sometimes I find that if I tune in to the poem, reading it over and over again, I can pick up the thread of its energy.But I've written something. See what you think.

[Bear]

woah... this could continue in a couple directions... she caught the sound of his silent prayer ;~) and I'm wanting her to turn and face the thought provider and perhaps explain her actions, perhaps by sending the witness thoughts mentally sensed, no verbal sounds involved. Perhaps in sharing her thoughts something magical and mystical would transpire and the moon would take on a form never seen before, showering them and the world around them in a glory to behold.

Oh, it's late and I've been up to long. ;~) I sure enjoyed this write tonight or this mornin' it is 5:35a.m.
Sallie Bear