Invisible

How I feel

He walks to school.

Alone in a crowded world.

Class to class he walks.

No one seeing him.

No one caring at all.

 

Terrible thoughts bounce in his head.

Thoughts of worthlessness and misery.

Thoughts of sadness and loneliness.

Thoughts of suicide and death.

Surrounded by the shadows.

 

In class, no one talks to him.

No one bothers to say 'hello'.

No one bothers to ask how he's doing.

No one cares.

It's like no one can see him.

 

To the world, he is invisible.

Reviews

[Patricia Williams]

:(
sadsadsad. I wish I knew all the people going through this at my school. I try to say 'hello' to people and ask how they're doing. But sometimes it's hard because I'm having a rotten day myself.

I wish no one had to go through this.
This is something I feel pretty strongly about. No one should have to suffer. >:'( NO. ONE.

In other news - well written. I like the second stanzas rhythm. Also how you wrapped it up with the title and all in the last line :)
Good job. Keep Writing. I can't wait to read more. :)

[Legolas]

I know. I wish I said hello to people but being very shy myself, I don't.

Thank you for the review!

[Patricia Williams]

My pleasure!

[Jetta Zippora]

I feel like this often. It's a sad and hard truth to acknowledge...yet unavoidable. This world is huge, cold, and sometimes you can't see light anywhere...this poem truly captures being in the shadows and unable to step out to speak. Fear and the lines of society always create a barrier. I am sorry for your pain, friend. I also feel it. This is a well-crafted beautiful agony. Well expressed.

[Legolas]

Thank you.

[AK]

Thought provoking write. This piece reminds me terribly of my self, though maybe not in this extreme. Any piece that can evoke the deep thoughts within the reader's mind is a worthy piece and I deem this amazing:))
Keep writing!

[Legolas]

Thank you so much. I am sorry you feel invisible. You aren't invisible to me though.

[AK]

Aw! Thank you:) but I guess I'm happy that the teachers and my bestie like me..

[Legolas]

You're very welcome:) well that's good.

[Caradoc]

More truth from your fingers, your heart and mind. There are too many people in the world who suffer this. A forced social isolation brought about by arrogance, prejudice, willful ignorance, and the idleness of those who could affect change. You capture it well in this poem.

I am also sorry that you must come by this insight through personal experience. It is possibly one of the hardest roads to walk alone.

A haunting, excellent piece.

-Caradoc

[Legolas]

Thank you. It is truly a lonely road to tread upon.

[Laura Maidah]

I read poems like this ALL the time on this site. Damn. People here are so invisible. Well, it is the speaker, not you. For a fifteen year old guy, this is absurdly good.

[Becky]

This is so sad. I've felt this way, but only once or twice when I'm having a bad day. Just thinking about how lonely I felt then, and some people feeling that way all the time- it's pretty terrible.

Well written; it really affected me emotionally.

[Emrys Realmskip]

strong raw emotion :) love this:)

[Louise]

Nicely written. This could've easily been a prologue to Amanda Palmer's "Strength through music". Much better than the one it already has.
Here's a link if you don't know the song:
http://youtu.be/3I8qJ-bpFAk

[Alm]

I know that feel, bro. But it seems that each person has some kind of pseudo-stalker who cares about them. School isn't the only place to make friends, and you will find those who you can trust in the future, hopefully.

What I particularly liked about this poem in the anaphora usage. Especially the last two stanzas. When used properly the anaphora can be very powerful. And you did that.

Every No one kind of felt like a tug on the heartstrings. Followed by the sad acceptance of it all in that last line.

-Alm

[Legolas]

Thanks tai:)