A Sinking Feeling

Sometimes when we’re in the car
I wonder to myself what it would be like
To drive off a bridge
Straight into the Puget Sound,
I listen to the song on the radio
And I imagine it playing
As I plunge toward my death,
I can feel my stomach
Rising through my throat,
The centripetal force
Nailing me to my seat
As the car free falls
Into a vertical motion,
I imagine our windshield
Crashing against the river’s surface
The water shooting off in every direction,
My body thrown forward
Like we've slammed into a brick wall,
I can hear the river trickling in through the windows
Accompanied by the song on the radio
Still quietly playing in the background,
It reaches my ankles, and soon my knees,
And my skin pricks and stings at the cold,
I'm completely submerged and
I shiver violently and my bones ache,
A dark and silent sanctuary surrounds me
Like I’m a creature locked in a tank
At the local aquariam,
The song no longer drifts through the speakers
And continues to play only in my mind,
I picture my eyes coming to a close
As a smile gently breaks upon my face
And my dark hair floats around me
Looking soft and angelic,
My lungs begin to burn
And my body convulses,
Once, twice, three times,
I no longer hear the water rushing in my ears
Or feel its bite on my skin
Or remember that it’s even there,
I imagine the tranquility overtaking me,
Faintly whispering that I can give in now,
That everything is finally coming to an end,
Like a mother singing her sweet child to sleep.


Sometimes I think
Maybe that’s how I’d like to die.