Waterfall

I'm tired and should probably go to sleep, but this came from my tiredness. I'll see how I feel about it in the morning. haha

I held you as close

as any sin I ever made

you flew away from me

wishing to shed some skin

blackest fire burnt in-between

you chose to turn sacred love into

blunt whispering in the fearful daylight

consumed by rays of golden tears and pain

pointless words that shouldn't have been said

Reviews

[3rd Chance]

Deeply invoking stanzas make a point of wringing out the raw emotion of the words, which burn with the passionate expression of someone wrought in heartbreak, evidenced by the tearful lashing out and poignant, pining syllables over words regretted and actions that cannot come undone.

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you for another exquisite review, friend.

[3rd Chance]

Of course. :)

[akihsna]

The poem structure perfectly matches the title and the emotions evoked are wonderful! :)

[Marie Baskerville]

this is a great poem i love all your work

[Ina Waltz]

You made me so happy by saying that. I love your work, too!

[Marie Baskerville]

thank you

[DrD]

Very interesting structure with the common message of lost love. Still, there was something haunting like holding sins closely, etc. I did not particularly like the "shed some skin" reference but that's just me. All in all, I think this is a fine work expressing sentiments known to most.

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you :)
I used 'shed some skin' as a metaphor for a person that wants to become someone else, forget who they were and who they loved.
I appreciate your lovely review, friend.

[EvErEyEs]

I absolutely enjoyed reading this.
Great job :)

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you so much :)

[Jo March]

THE WORDS FALL LIKE WATER! That slant thing is so amazing. Beautiful writing

[Ina Waltz]

Yes, that's why it's called 'Waterfall'. It felt liquid while I was writing it. :)
Thank you a lot!

[Noah William]

Once again you left me speachless my love!
I'm so amazed by every word!


- Noah -

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you, dearest! xx

[dunnia]

i absolutely love the the first two lines...

[Ina Waltz]

Glad you do! :)

[dunnia]

:]

[amarlaksh]

Beautifully thought , exceptionally written and symmetrically perfect!

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you for this wonderful review!

[Stanley Wilson]

mmm very good deep and emotive

[Ina Waltz]

Thank you! :)