Bird In A Piano

a surreal idea I tried to put into words

You are a bird in a piano

Atonal with broken wings,

           panic flight of triplets

That hammer both lacquer and bass

Lieder of a bloodied beak

           and shocked, artless eyes;

All the notes you play

Are glued with flightlessness

           the tone of air stolen

           the sky closed and dark. 

Reviews

[Lyn Anderson]

For me a woman, who is unhappy, and flightless in a relationship that should be beautiful, but its not.

[Alfred Kukitz]

Dali would have to agree, as I do, this is surreal. Nice pen!

[Coyote Song]

Very clever and impressive poem.
Love how you incorporated the bird into the piano.

[Zahra]

That hammer both lacquer and bass
Lieder of a bloodied beak
and shocked, artless eyes;

concise and strong. wonderful

[stars are far]

wow, that was very great . i loved the metaphores here . well done

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the kind words

[Tina Kline]

I really like this. Very impressive. I could see the bird trapped within the image of the piano.
Creative and very unique.

[Leslie Philibert]

As ever, thanks and best wishes !

[Tina Kline]

You are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i find this poem very interesting....i like the analogy of the piano, the keys, the tune being out of air and find, for me, it relates to someone who was a writer, but now that part of him or her is broken, so this person steals the tunes of others....but it is so obvious because they don't ring with the same verve as words of their own would....and thus the sky becomes "closed and dark"---

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the kind words, this is( I hope) a literary nod at Dali or Picasso, your review is excellent, the work of someone used to working with words.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Surreal or not Leslie this inspires thoughts of dirges played perhaps out of key. Again I see parallels with life itself and how often fragile people act like trapped birds who are fragile and unable to take flight from their situation.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks John, for the kind words and excellent review.

[kangsora]

The imagery is powerful in this poem. I love it.

[Leslie Philibert]

Pleased you liked this, my best wishes.