Epiphany

a theme I like to return to..

The tyrannic moan of the refuse truck,

the granite of a rook`s caw.

The windows suffer under sleet.

The street is lighted yellow for 

the survivors, the last ones.

Your breath is soft beside me,

each pause fills the darkness.

Dream I am better than I am,

the night`s follower, the undecided.

Reviews

[Tina Kline]

This si really a great write. I enjoyed it. The imagery really pulls the reader in.
Impressive and skillfully done.

[Leslie Philibert]

Hallo Tina, thanks for looking at this.

[Tina Kline]

You're very welcome.

[Philip Muls]

Intriguing. He listens to her breathing, thinking to himself he should decide. But what...

[Leslie Philibert]

Hallo Philip, pleased you were able to look at this, thanks !

[Valentine]

Dream I am better than me? Or strive to be better than that dream? Valentine

[Leslie Philibert]

My best wishes, and thanks !

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this took me places...the refuse of the past, that which we need to dispose of...and then that new night...the calling of love...being undecided ---knowing how cold it is out there---do we protect our heart, or go for it...the crows don't think, they just attack...maybe we need to just let go the same way.
anyway...off as i may be, this poem spoke to me in this way...

and i really enjoy abstract.

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the kind words, and your excellent reviews, you review as well as you write, best wishes,
Leslie

[DaughterNature]

I think I like where this is going - although usually I'm not in favor of vague poetry, the striking images speak for themselves here.

I have to confess that I'm a mechanics nerd, so the first stanza that ends in a period but isn't a complete sentence bothers me, but yeah.

Cheers!

[Leslie Philibert]

Thanks for the review, you are of course right, the first couplet doesn`t parse, its a way of keeping
the poem open, unbalanced, moving...