Here is my goodbye

 

As I leand my head on the window pane.

And each tear that fell with the rain.

I thought of you.

 

Of the life I now live.

How you did the things you did.

We will never be the same.

 

Your the reason I am feeling so bad.

Liveing a dream I never had.

But you got what you wanted.

 

Our love was never perfect.

And at some point it was all worth it

But now that is gone.

 

I am sick and tired of this never ending lie.

Of this horrible love crime.

Our time is comeing to an end.

 

So I hope you had fun.

With the boys and the rum.

Becuse when you get home.

Dont even pick up the phone.

I will not answer.

 

So go ahead and get drunk.

Becuse this love boat has finally sunk.

Now i am finally free

To live my own destiny.

And this, my love, is goodbye

 

 

Reviews

[外人 (Gaiji..]

Nice poem, just pay attention, you made some mistakes. Apart from that, everything's great, sad (for the topic, i mean) but great

[shunik]

emotional as always
the flow and thoughts collide all along
=]

[eatmills]

My my how your writing has grown. I see your developing quite the style. I can feel the awareness of freedom. The light at the tunnel. Don't stop writing.

[Rhea752]

Nice poem!! sad and very well written. keep writing!!

[afra]

awwww so sad ....i fell the same way right now ....good job

[TheArtOfInsanity]

Your writings have always been emotional, and that's what I like about your style. Some people write just to write, and some poetry really has no meaning behind it, and I'm guilty of it as well, but you're poetry and writing, although sad, still means something, and I can read and see the emotions you poured into this piece very clearly.

[The Winter Grey]

I like this piece. The theme is consistent, and there are some great lines here. For instance, "I am sick of this never ending lie, Of this horrible love crime." Clever play on words. I also, on a more personal note, enjoyed how your own viewpoints shined through this poem. I once used the following in one of my older poems: "Even at the best of times, What we had was far from perfect. Because loving you was never easy, And I'm not sure it was worth it." It's a similar notion to one you expressed here, but with a different outcome ultimately. At any rate, I found this piece to be genuine and real, and that counts for a lot.

[jennifer little]

exalent work thanks for sharing this with me

[Forevermore]

its a perfect goodbye, reminds me of my works, i like it. i didnt really notice a grammar or spelling error soo yea lol. and again, nice write