Tired Of This World

I'm Tired of This

There's always Rumors, Lies, and Deception

Everyone is getting worse

Everyone is hurt

I wish time would freeze

So i can relax

Now i cant because of everything

I can't stand this world no more

I can't stand what everyone has become

Reviews

[Gabi Celaya]

Lines six and seven need the "i"s to be capitalized. And line seven also needs an apostrophe before the t in "cant".
I'm not sure why "Tired" is capitalized. The other words that are are somewhat justifiable in that, although personally I'd drop the capitals out of "Rumors, Lies, and Deception", as it's becoming very much a clich� to capitalize things to signify their importance (you know the sort of thing: Love and Happiness. It's a grammatical quirk of high German that came over into English in the late Victorian era for some mysterious reason). I very much like the fact that "This" is capitalized, it gives the a very generic term a sense of specificity.
"So i can relax" Also needs to be changed to "So I could relax". It's a hypothetical so it's in the conjunctive, not the present tense.

And again, otherwise good. You're young, but you've got the makings of a poet in you if you keep at it. You might want to try writing in some forms, though, rather than just pure free verse.