Wounded

Tanka

Wounded

Crisp morning air,

screams bitter memories now.

Reminding again,

you and that damn yellow cab,

leaving me was so easy.

Reviews

[Tex]

Congratulations on placing in the Under 20 words Contest! This is truly a great write. You deserve it!

[Patrick Henry]

Very cool. Striking with the first word, and nailing the second line with bitter. It sets up in my head for quite the stressful moment about to come...... and then there's the cab!! If there is no sottish fool about "drunk" then there is only one reason why there would be a cab there. I don't like that last line.... 'cause I love your poems. Personally, I'm having a hard time leaving your page. : ) This is fun. I'm told that there are other poets on this site also!! lol great job with this one. A great lesson in learning that it matters none the length or reason written. It takes the right words, and the right way to say it...... "DAMN yellow cab". Nice! Beautiful Tiffany. xoxo -Mark

[JRC Talberg]

I find this powerful. It is general enough that a reader can connect, yet the well chosen words help the reader piece together an actual story. A really good poem.

[JRC Talberg]

Reading this poem again, I realize it is Neil Gaiman-esque. I love it.

[Tiffany Kelley]

Thank you! It was my first attempt at writing a Tanka style poem. I usually cannot stick with forms and technique. I tend to float off to free-style. Truthfully, I rarely write poetry. I use to hate it but my recent class is eye opening. The reason I never found it appealing is because I didn't understand it. Now that I'm learning, it's becoming more desirable to me. :P