Head shoulder knees and toe 3

Part three out of well maybe five or seven

Scene(Johnny Kies summer apartment , now clean of any blood all that was in the kitchen was Johnny's lasagna on the kitchen table Johnny is already eating a piece when detective Sheba walks in). Johnny:"that was rather rude". (Detective Sheba points her gun at Johnny) Detective Sheba :" where is he?!" (Johnny looks confused) Johnny " who?" Detective Sheba "you know damn well who my partner Detective Marlo !" ( Johnny gets up and detective Sheba c***s her gun at his head). Johnny:" why ; Detective Marlo hasn't been around today but you can sit here and eat while you think of where he could be ". ( detective Sheba believes Johnny for sector Marlo had helped raise the boy after his father was arrested for killing Johnny and Mia's' mom she sits in the chair as Johnny hands get a plate of lasagna) Detective Sheba :" thank you ; he said he would stop by here , he usually radios in every hour". ( Johnny sits across from her) Johnny: " well no he hasn't been by I am sorry ; you look tired Detective you should eat to have some energy to find Dave i mean Detective Marlo" Detective Sheba " no thank you I'm to frustrated to eat". Johnny :"I insist it's a family recipe" ( detective Sheba picks up her fork but sees what looks like a fingernail in the food too long to be Johnny and it was chipped ) Detective Sheba :" I think I'll pass for now" ( Johnny was behind detective Sheba as she found the fingernail and now held a frying pan) Johnny :" too bad I thought it might help" Detective Sheba "I am sorry for the inconvenience" (Detective Sheba turns around as Johnny knocks her out with a frying pan a ties her up in his bedroom) Johnny :" such a pretty little thing ; I think I'll save her for dessert even though she doesn't act so sweet".

Reviews

[Cyd]

Agreeing with Writer*78*, this is not working. You have to write it in the proper format, perhaps read a few scripts? That is usually the best way to get the basics of screenwriting down. They have lots here, http://www.imsdb.com/ Might want to read horror since that is what you want to write.

[Writer *78*]

Same as before. Pretty sure it's a good play but right now it looks as if it's one giant paragraph.

[Kamari's]

This is my first screen play I have written

[Writer *78*]

I understand that but you gotta space it out so it's easier to read.

[Kamari's]

I understand though I think I have footed somewhat better at it