The words are caught in my throat. Waves crash, birds die, planets collide. Here in my head, all alone, trapped inside. Quivering green mantis over my shoulder, anticipating it's own strength, not sure when it will be over. Ready to strip me of what I've been owed, just when I feel the most alone.
Lord, can you hear me yet? I'm coming home.
Sand on my feet, the grain irritates beneath. With each sinking step, water slaps my ankles in warning, begging me to go back to bed. The earth beneath my weight disappears, to someplace I could never understand, a place I fear. To another place that I dont belong. Another world that leaves me in the wrong. I keep walking to our sunrise, toward you, the pink, orange, and blue. All these years of planning to wake up to catch a sunrise, only to have it be the one that celebrates your demise. The sky bleeds in colors for me, expecting my arrival, to show me that which is free.
Screams suddenly fill my ear, footsteps rapidly approaching, I try to ignore what I hear.
This is it. I've finally come home.
I dive into the angry, crashing waves, calmed by the comfort of it's suffocation. Im transfixed in a kind of wicked haze. A cold blanket of wet, I am safe from all else, safe from everyone but myself.