Intentions of a Dark Mage - Choices

Ember has made a decision to fracture the worlds into different planes to save Echo and bring back his body... but it cost millions of lives. Ember still deals with the pain from that choice.

Nights became hard for me to endure after that day. It was the time my mind ran wild, thinking of all my past mistakes, how I hurt everyone else with my choices and boundaries. On that day, I told myself that it was okay to be alone if it meant protecting yourself and what you loved.

But tonight, that loneliness was completely inescapable.

It tore at my heart and pricked my eyes.

A deep and endless sorrow and self-pity laced my blood.

Regrets and what-ifs infected my mind, screaming at me and pounding away at my skull.

Curled on the bed, I stared at the rickety war-torn ceiling. Tears slipped down the sides of my face, soaking my hair and pillow underneath with a steady stream.

I destroyed thousands of lives for the life of one. I fractured worlds for a promise.

And I still think it was worth it.

The world deserves to hate me for it.

I rolled over again and again and again, curling myself into a ball and hugging my knees tightly to shield myself from the world outside and to hide my internal pains from the world.

I promised Echo that I would give him his body back after it was stolen and his mind was cast away. I promised myself that in this cruel and desolate world, I would make a home for us where we could live in peace.

A trade between his rights and world peace. The life of one against many.

Where was that peace now? Everyone was out to get us for being the only ones unscathed.

I really was selfish and evil.

Blankets engulfed me as I suffered under the weight of my decisions.

I sobbed silently, mourning for every life unaware of the annihilation that I caused them.

A knock interrupted my wallowing.

“Ember?” Echo called out from behind the door.

I cleared my throat before I answered. “Yeah?” My voice wavered.

The door swung open and Echo rushed to my side, placing something on the bedside table.

His large, gentle hand settled on my body over the blankets.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly. “What’s wrong?”

I kept silent.

Carefully, he unwrapped the blankets away from my face, gasping as he caught sight of my tear-streaked face.

I buried myself deeper in shame.

“Ember, tell me everything.”

I felt sick. Echo didn’t deserve this. He deserved a happy place, not a wasteland.

I started a whole war. I restarted his nightmare and everything that tormented him day and night for millions of years.

Even though he gave me his care and affection for years, I returned his favour by laying waste to everything he worked for.

“I don’t deserve your affection,” I croaked.

“And how did you figure that out?” He frowned when I didn’t reply again. “I can’t hear your thoughts anymore since I no longer reside in your mind.”

When I made no effort to be responsive, he kicked his shoes and coat off before climbing onto the bed beside me and wrapped his large arm around me.

He pulled me closer to his chest and kissed my hair with feather kisses.

My body quivered as I stifled my sobs.

Echo just lied there, comforting me without question or judgement.

“I know you didn’t want your body back in return for the destruction it caused. But I chose it anyway.” I sobbed. “I wanted you to have what you deserved to have, what you yearned for. But it cost us Noah, Bobby, Anna and countless others. Was what I did really the right choice?”

Echo unwrapped me further until I was cuddled in his arms comfortably. 

“Who knows? You tried your best, Ember. You fractured the world in a way to keep each race separate where you could, separate the ones that were truly going to cause unjust destruction.”

“Everyone looks at me with disgust and shame for choosing what I did,” I muttered, “Maybe they’re right. I’m not meant to make the big decisions. And I couldn’t make the right one, couldn’t find a way out.”

“Ember, no,” Echo cupped my cheek lovingly. “You made a choice out of everything that was handed to you. Not only that but you did manage to minimize damage that would have otherwise followed if you hadn’t chosen what you did. You managed to reduce the turmoil happening between each of the races, showing that there were still humans that didn’t want the destruction that its leaders so desperately wanted.”

Echo lifted me onto his chest and ran his fingers through my hair to massage it soothingly.

He hesitated, before bringing his lips to my ears, “To tell you the truth, I was happy that you chose me over the world. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting more,” Echo paused again.

I listened quietly.

“I spent years sacrificing myself over and over again for the good of my people, and not just during the war. I would spend years wishing that Emilia or Mum or Dad would choose my happiness over everyone else, just once. It would break me inside each time they put me last, and eventually? I thought it was my duty to shatter myself to a million shards and give my pieces to others for all of our sakes. But it never should have been. I had needs too.”

He yanked my chin up so that his blue eyes bore into mine, shining brilliantly from his dirty blonde hair.

“You are the only one, Ember. The only one that chose me, that showed me I was worthy of love and peace for the millions of years that I remained on this earth. You are the one who took on the world's ire for my rights, for my desires. You have my utmost gratitude.”

My eyes widened in surprise.

Echo wiped my tears away gently with his rough hands.

The dark cold slowly faded away, and I buried my face deeper into his chest.

His heart beat strongly, unwaveringly. It wouldn’t be beating if it wasn’t for me. I did that.

For once, peace and satisfaction emanated from within.

“Don’t cry. The world may stand against you right now, but you have me as your ally, always. Never forget that.”

He hugged me tightly, kissing my tears away.

My chest felt hot, as did my cheeks.

My lips met his in thanks, before I clutched the back of his shirt.

I wept my pain away into his large, protective shoulders.

“I’ve got you. Always.” He whispered over and over like a mantra.

And I believed him.

Author's Note

This is practice for my book, Intentions of a Dark Mage. I might use this, I might not. I just felt like writing something that might happen later on in the plot for funsies.

Reviews

[Emunah June.]

You have definitely created two characters that pique my interest in getting to know more about them! I gather from your title and the context clues that this novel will be fantasy, and thats one of my favourite genres.

A few things to consider...

If this is a one shot story, (as you said maybe you keep it, maybe you dont), I would like to see a bit more fleshing out in regards to who Echo and Ember are to each other. I kept flip flopping through the story -- are they lovers? Siblings? Friends? -- and while I came to the conclusion they are lovers towards the end, that wasnt entirely clear up to that point.

I think I would also like to see (again, if this is solely a one shot story) a bit more fleshing out about the events that lead to the splintering of the worlds. We're told this sacrifice was huge, and that "people came after us for it", but I didnt completely understand the depth of why that choice had to be made or what circumstances lead to it. I know Echo lost his body -- but maybe perhaps a small flashback to the day he lost it would even help us understand why, which would in turn, create a more firm, emotional link to the story at hand.

THAT BEING SAID...I think this story is brilliantly executed. I think that you can feel there is a sincere, gentle connection between the characters, and that the main character in question has a totally believeable conversation with her conscience. While we may not have all the details as to why these big, hard decisions had to be made, we can see that it was enough to have her weigh the reasons behind it and if she did the right thing or not. And thats such a beautifully human frame of mind! Do we put more emphasis on the life of one for the life of many? Or, in a older term, "whats good for the goose is good for the gander"!

I love the way that you can see what shes going through within a fantastical setting, because although the world around her is full of these unbelievable elements (i.e. magic and cosmic destruction), she doesnt fall so out of bounds that she herself feels unrelatable. I think the theme of needing someone in the aftermath of a difficult decision stands true within all genres.

So incredibly enjoyable, and so well done. If you pursue this as a novel, Id absolutely, 110% read it.

[Lillian Burrows]

Thank you so much for reading it and giving it a lot of thought.

This little extract was born from my impatience from writing my novel haha. At the beginning of the story, they start off as teacher (Echo) and student (Ember) and then friends in the contemporary regular world where Ember is essentially scorned by everyone she knows for not having magic, and Echo (trapped in an amulet) is the only one that can help her overcome her problem and show that she is worthy of being an heir. At this stage, Echo is the only one that can communicate with Ember, which is why they become very close - they go through hardships together and share emotions which leads to a lot of empathy between each other.

The idea for worldbuilding is that there are other worlds as well that are just about connected by unchanging pathways, but people talented in spatial magic or have a tool that can manipulate space are able to make their own.

At some point Ember and Echo are thrust into one of the other worlds that they can access and are forced by strong villains to choose - cause a war that will benefit the villains and help Echo as well, or have the body destroyed and other people she cares about harmed and they force her anyway.

She attempts to outsmart the villains a little and also fulfil her promise to Echo (a body or his body in exchange for his teachings), but in the process there is a lot of damage done - the world becomes fractured, but in a way that separates and splinters every single race in this fantasy world (so they can't be manipulated further and go and wage war on others), but Ember and Echo are some of the select few with the ability to make their own pathways.

Hopefully that brings in a bit of context to what happened beforehand with my story (leaving out some other things as well thats about Ember's familial issues).

I think the reason why it seems like they are friends at first is because of the time that they spent together as friends at the beginning (and for a very long time, maybe a year or 2) and my idea for it at this point is that although they know each other very well, they have very recently become romantically involved (so it's quite new to them.)

I've mentioned all of this, but so far I haven't fully fleshed out the interconnecting scenes to this point so some parts of it may or may not change. That being said, a scene like this will definitely be used at some point in the story but it is definitely a long time away (I'm just impatient and wanted to write it now haha.)

I do have some chapters available on writerscafe and also on royalroad.com for free under the same username. It's just that I've been having my ups and downs getting started, as this is my first novel, and also my first draft too. I'm just hoping that feedback here can help me improve further as I write, such as scene composition and how the plot plays out.

Once again, thank you so much for reading!

[Lillian Burrows]

Whoops, forgot to add the title:

Intentions of a Dark Mage

[Emunah June.]

Thank you! This definitely helps me, I appreciate it so much. I am looking forward to reading more and, hopefully, will have a novel on my bookshelf one day soon. I appreciate you responding to me.