XV.X.VII Burning Touch

Love occupies it's own world

That lies within the intensity

Of a gaze; the burning touch

Of a finger; the rosebud kiss

Of his lips. No other joy can resemble

The glowing ecstasy you feel

In his arms. Lying safely coccooned

Against the fears of the world;

You dream of staying here

Forever and a day.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I like 'intensity of a gaze' ... I just like the word gaze which gives subliminal rhymes with haze/daze/maze all of which go with the moment you capture here.

[Prose-full]

"Lying safely coccooned
Against the fears of the world;"---i love this..i get such a visual with these lines..very nice..

"the intensity
Of a gaze; the burning touch"---lovely,and it is so real, i can remember feeling these things..

lovely write..just lovely

[Tim McGovern]

This is a very smooth read.
Try to avoid the clich�' words and phrases such as " burning touch", "butterfly kiss"," cocooned" etc.
Experiment with different words, if you find yourself writing something that sounds familiar try saying it a different way.
It's a constant learning process and you can always come back to previous work and apply what you learn as you go on.

You have a poets touch to your work, now you just need to find your own voice.
Don't stop writing.

Namaste'
Tim