I'll leave it to the flies

Weird little lyrics. I don't usually write lyrics but i think this came out more lyrical then poem

Where are the moonlit skys
They're hidden beneath the fire flies
In the grove where they live their lives

There is a light beyond the glow
A secret you might know
Beyond the stretches of the wind caught inside your eyes

Leave it to the fire flies

And you say its beyond you
And you say you don't feel it
And you know its is coming

This moonless night

They're preparing for flight

You're stealing from the skys
The light is in your eyes
So ill leave it to the fire flies

Oh ill leave it to the fireflies

As all I need are your eyes
Tonight..


 

Author's Note

Ignore grammar

Reviews

[Dillon Cotter]

The beginning is quite mysterious and beautiful. Overall, this is great! =)

-Will

[WriterMe]

Fireflies? I'm sold.
I loved the first stanza. You painted something truly exquisite in my mind.
Great work =]

[Emily]

This is a beautiful piece of work. I'm saddened a bit by your note to ignore grammar because it pulls away the flow of the piece. Readers hesitate when things aren't right, and there are only a few mistakes which are very fixable. They're and You're are the only corrections you need.

I really liked the way you write this piece, and I love the lines
"As all I need are your eyes
Tonight.."
I like the way that is written, but there is something halting about the next line. You consistently call them fireflies, and the last line should be the same, but that line seems stiff, almost as though you don't really need it. You could re-phrase and it would be a little less abrupt and leave the reader with a sense of continuation into the darkness with the fireflies rather than an abruptness where it appears they are compared to normal flies. If that makes sense.

nice work, I do really like the feeling I got from this piece.
~Emily