The Intruder

Something ripples the water
Causing the fallen leaves to stir
And the frozen wind to run away
While wilting Spring's flowers

The autumn air hold its breath
For the fear it should be detected
By the intruder that happens to be passing by
The clouds soon give to their fear and cry

Afraid of being caught, the atmosphere stood still
The trees locked hands and prayed with all their will
Maybe the intruder was that of a rabbit, or a squirrel

The forest would've never guessed the intruder was a little girl

Author's Note

Rate! Comment! Read! Enjoy!

Reviews

[SilentVerses]

Afraid of being caught, the atmosphere stood still
The trees locked hands and prayed with all their will; Love these lines, absolutely adore them, with bated breath you can practically sense the collective intake of suspense of the nature. Love it

[~Angelic~]

wow just....amazing. never would have guessed it was a little girl. great job

[Wondering Mind]

The finale surpassed the intrigue building up. What a play with the reader’s mind. I love it

[Misty Blue Eyes]

this is such a great poem...

[Radad Ibn Nasir]

I love what you did with this poem. Youre quite the architecht here, you seemingly drew uo a world that revolved around itself. This is very enticing to a reader such as myself! Cant wait to read more! Bravo!

[Courtland Sky]

hey love, your poem was amazing.! it was really was true and sincere.

[Anastasiya]

So cool. I love this. Do you know how cool a story about that would be?

[Albatross]

Makes me wonder what kind of affect each individual has on the atmosphere just by entering a room, or walking outside. One usually expects the change to be felt by another human. But what if it was felt by each plant, each gust of wind, a river, the rain, anything? Not just something human.
Beautiful write, I enjoyed every line.

[Charles]

This was a cute and clever read. I enjoyed the metaphor of the air as an entity holding its breath. (Small grammer sug. The autumn air hold 'its' breath)

Loved the ending, a little girl caused all the concern...I've always thought that little girls rule the world. Nice read.

[David W Moore III]

The wonder of a small child in nature is something to behold. You turn it around in this piece quite well. At first I thought it was going to be a horror piece, then a turning of the seasons. But you certainly did justice to this stunningly simple emotion!